Yup. U came to the right blog. I figured that the old skin was too tough to read all my long blogs, and hopefully this is more reader frenly. :) I'm not sure who comes here anyway.
I went to Covenant instead today. Cos yup, I didn't want to face the pain of disagreeing. This is me- sometimes when something bothers me, it can sit in me for hrs and hrs, and it goes around in a loop in my mind, and makes me feel bad. This lingering feeling from yesterday night..yes, it remains and it bothers me.
Covenant was okay today. One thing I really miss is the worship at CHC, and yup, it just brings me right into the presence of God. Whereas at Covenant, most ple are comfortable putting their hands behind their backs of just clasping them together, or putting them at the side, I instinctively reach out my two hands- and this to me feels like worship. Don't be mistaken here, I am not saying that is the right way, but it is more of a comfort thing.
There are lots of possibilities in this world. And ple who make things happen are not those who indulge in the negative. But they look beyond the negative and see the possibilities. That's what I am trying to do. Focusing on the negative= church-less, relationship-less, and blurred future. But focusing on the positive- reminding myself that yes, God is bringing me to a new place of closeness with Him thru this season, and there are so many doors that He is opening up for me wrt work. :)
Did a google on Dr. AR Bernard, and discovered some interesting things, like how he stood up for truth and talked abt the white church failing wrt racial equality (smthing along that lines). His church building is a big complex complete with cafe and garden and all. Yet, the church also build schools, and helps the poor in New York. So yep, I've come to the realisation that there can be beliefs A, B and C. Person X may believe in ABC, but person Y believes in AC, and Z in AB. And that creates a whole lot of spectrum of differences wrt how XYZ views life, and how he shd live as a christian. Nevertheless, there are always things to learn from each other, and different aspects of each church that are strong and we can be encouraged by. I hope this makes sense.
So looking at possibilities, its just exploding all the way. :) Dear God lead me in Yr truth. Help me to focus on the major and not the minor. Help me to do what is right, not being distracted or losing energy on the things that go around me.
Today's sermon on finishing well...on the test of reality. Whether or not we are satisfied in God or in other stuffs. Ya, there are still so many things that are holding me back in my heart...there's portion that still needs to be surrendered to God. And it is so difficult to find total satisfaction in Christ alone. Afterall, God said it was not good for men to be alone. ;)It is within our nature to feel lonely etc. I really hope that I can seek Christ first over and above all other things that I desire.
2 comments:
I read a book about this minister and he shared about agreeing to disagree. He mentioned that as the senior pastor, he often invites guest speakers for some of his services. and sometimes he wld disagree with some of the things that the guest speaker has preached. But that doesnt mean he'd stop inviting those preachers or dutifully correct the congregation after the speaker steps down from the pulpit. Your fault does not lie in you disagreeing with others, but your reaction to those disagreements seems so emotional to the point it seems like a bondage. I feel disagreement is a normal thing because all of us are imperfect. I disagree with preachers, pastors, cgls on many issues and sometimes I come to agreement with them and sometimes I still stand by my views. Yes, like you said I believe its a matter of insecurity. and this is probably the time for you to mature in this area.
I shared with a sis on this before. I told her the reason why it is important for different opinions in church is that everyone experiences God differently, like the story of the blind men who touched an elephant. One touched the tail and tot the elephant is like rope. One touched the leg and thought the elephant is like a pillar. Yet another touched the ear and tot it is like a piece of flappy paper. Ultimately, all our experiences forms a wholesome picture of God. One thing about Covenant is that Ps Ed trusts the people so much, he allows different lay people to run the ministries as they see fit, but yet preaches a very coherent picture of who God is. I think your emotions well up not because of pride, but because yo u genuinely want to seek God and Chrisitians who are for real, authentic. Yah, old post, U're on Covenant already but just sharing my views. I left my church for similar reasons. I need to see God, not a church building, certainly not mere theology. =)
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