I've been reading two books. The first book is Hearing God's Voice by Henry and Richard Blackaby.
One of the quotes that spoke to me:
"At times people get an assignment from God, then they race off to do it without waiting for the specifics of how and when he wants them to carry it out. For example, over the years we have been dismayed to see a number of men and women receive God's call to the ministry, but in their impatience to 'get at it', they neglected to seek God's further direction regarding how to prepare for a lifetime of ministry."
Wow, a lifetime of ministry indeed. Every day, every experience, every person we meet, is preparing us for a lifetime of ministry.
I was also very encouraged by Phillip Yancey's Prayer. He is one of those authors that u can read comfortably, one of those books that soothes your soul and deals with very real questions of doubts, fears etc. In essence, I am enjoying this book because it admits that it doesn't know all the answers.
"Prayer has become for me much more than a shopping list of requests to present to God. It has become a re-alignment of everything. I pray to restore the truth of the universe, to gain a glimpse of the world, and of me, through the eyes of God. In prayer, I shift my point of view away from my own selfishness...Prayer is the act of seeing reality from God's point of view."
In the book, Yancey speaks of coming before God in honesty because the way I think and feel as I pray, rather than words I speak may be the real prayer that God hears. The barrier to our intimacy with God is when we try to hide things from Him. We gotto trust Him with the things that He already knows. Yancey gives an analogy of how we share very superficial things with friends we are not close with. In a similar way, when we remain superficial with God, we can't get very intimate with Him.
One thing I felt affirmed me in my walk with Him this year ( yes time to do reflections, again), is how God searches in our hearts to reveal hidden sin and any forms of unrighteousness. Yet when we lay bare to God what is on the inside of our hearts, He still bids us to come and accepts us in our fallen state. It is almost as if He is saying He loves every part of me. And yes I am thankful.
In Prayer, Yancey speaks of a young Jewish girl. Etty Hillesum who kept a journal during her stay in Auschwitz, she wrote " Sometimes when I stand in some corner of the camp, my feet planted on Yr earth, my eyes raised towards Your Heaven, tears sometimes run down my face tears of deep emotion and gratitude... For once you have begun to walk with God, you need only keep on walking with God and all of life becomes one long stroll- a marvelous feeling."
I havent reached that stage of marvelous feeling yet. I don't know if I will. But for now, I know that all He wants is for me to be honest with Him abt everything.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Who Am I?
Who Am I?
by Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Dietrich Bonhöffer, a young theologian of great promise, was martyred by the Nazis for his participation in a plot against the life of Adolf Hitler. His writings have greatly influenced recent theological thought. This article appeared in the Journal Christianity and Crisis, March 4, 1946. Used by permission. This article was prepared for Religion Online by Ted & Winnie Brock.
Who am I? They often tell me
I stepped from my cell’s confinement
Calmly, cheerfully, firmly,
Like a squire from his country-house.
Who am I? They often tell me
I used to speak to my warders
Freely and friendly and clearly,
As though it were mine to command.
Who am I? They also tell me
I bore the days of misfortune
Equally, smilingly, proudly,
Like one accustomed to win.
Am I then really all that which other men tell of?
Or am I only what I myself know of myself?
Restless and longing and sick, like a bird in a cage,
Struggling for breath, as though hands were
compressing my throat,
Yearning for colors, for flowers, for the voices of birds,
Thirsting for words of kindness, for neighborliness,
Tossing in expectation of great events,
Powerlessly trembling for friends at an infinite distance,
Weary and empty at praying, at thinking, at making,
Faint, and ready to say farewell to it all?
Who am I? This or the other?
Am I one person today and tomorrow another?
Am I both at once? A hypocrite before others,
And before myself a contemptibly woebegone weakling?
Or is something within me still like a beaten army,
Fleeing in disorder from victory already achieved?
Who am I? They mock me, these lonely questions of mine.
Whoever I am, Thou knowest, 0 God, I am Thine!
March 4,1946
by Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Dietrich Bonhöffer, a young theologian of great promise, was martyred by the Nazis for his participation in a plot against the life of Adolf Hitler. His writings have greatly influenced recent theological thought. This article appeared in the Journal Christianity and Crisis, March 4, 1946. Used by permission. This article was prepared for Religion Online by Ted & Winnie Brock.
Who am I? They often tell me
I stepped from my cell’s confinement
Calmly, cheerfully, firmly,
Like a squire from his country-house.
Who am I? They often tell me
I used to speak to my warders
Freely and friendly and clearly,
As though it were mine to command.
Who am I? They also tell me
I bore the days of misfortune
Equally, smilingly, proudly,
Like one accustomed to win.
Am I then really all that which other men tell of?
Or am I only what I myself know of myself?
Restless and longing and sick, like a bird in a cage,
Struggling for breath, as though hands were
compressing my throat,
Yearning for colors, for flowers, for the voices of birds,
Thirsting for words of kindness, for neighborliness,
Tossing in expectation of great events,
Powerlessly trembling for friends at an infinite distance,
Weary and empty at praying, at thinking, at making,
Faint, and ready to say farewell to it all?
Who am I? This or the other?
Am I one person today and tomorrow another?
Am I both at once? A hypocrite before others,
And before myself a contemptibly woebegone weakling?
Or is something within me still like a beaten army,
Fleeing in disorder from victory already achieved?
Who am I? They mock me, these lonely questions of mine.
Whoever I am, Thou knowest, 0 God, I am Thine!
March 4,1946
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
Dear Holy Spirit
A good friend's friend passed away suddenly in his sleep 2 days ago, and I found it hard to pray for her. I'm afraid my prayers sound hollow and empty in light of the pain she is experiencing.
Yesterday night while I was praying, I thought of the Holy Spirit, and a few verses came to my mind to encourage me greatly.
16 And I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever-- 17 the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you.
Jn 14:16-17
19 Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? 20 For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's.
1 Cor 6:19-20
26 Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. 27 Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God.
Romans 8:26-28
Coming from a charismatic background, I could vividly remember days when the Holy Spirit was so near me, when I prayed loudly in tongues, when I worshiped God singing in the Spirit. Its not that I never experience the Holy Spirit now, its just that it somehow seems like a different move whereby He sometimes just cuts right into my heart speaking to me.
Oh dear Holy Spirit, I am reminded I am so much in need of you.
In the face of never-ending demands of different tasks to do, different deadlines, different ministries. At the end of the day, I need my comforter and helper to interceed with God for me, with deep groanings, to express the things I feel so deeply on the inside.
Sometimes these days, I just feel so tired, and I find rest in His presence. Oh dear Lord, dear Holy Spirit, don't leave me, but always be there to encourage and lead me on this journey.
Yesterday night while I was praying, I thought of the Holy Spirit, and a few verses came to my mind to encourage me greatly.
16 And I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever-- 17 the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you.
Jn 14:16-17
19 Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? 20 For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's.
1 Cor 6:19-20
26 Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. 27 Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God.
Romans 8:26-28
Coming from a charismatic background, I could vividly remember days when the Holy Spirit was so near me, when I prayed loudly in tongues, when I worshiped God singing in the Spirit. Its not that I never experience the Holy Spirit now, its just that it somehow seems like a different move whereby He sometimes just cuts right into my heart speaking to me.
Oh dear Holy Spirit, I am reminded I am so much in need of you.
In the face of never-ending demands of different tasks to do, different deadlines, different ministries. At the end of the day, I need my comforter and helper to interceed with God for me, with deep groanings, to express the things I feel so deeply on the inside.
Sometimes these days, I just feel so tired, and I find rest in His presence. Oh dear Lord, dear Holy Spirit, don't leave me, but always be there to encourage and lead me on this journey.
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