I don't even know how to begin on this post. And I hope u don't judge me, nor get stumbled after reading this. Cos it has been on my mind for the past few months, at least 8 months.
Today I went for service, and Pastor Kong shared a message on being the salt and light in the market place. It was a good message on Daniel, and how Daniel lived and dressed like the Babylonians, and he even had a babylonian name that the king gave him =Belteshazzar= Bel will protect his life. Bel was Babylon's chief god. And the three other young men likewise had pagan names like moon god and servant of god Nego. Pastor went on to talk abt how we need to engage the mkt place, that christians, must be contemporary, trendy and modern and be excellent in our mkt place. So as to be like the salt and light. Like Daniel, who won the Babylon King over, and the King turned to worship Jehovah God.
The message is sacred but the packaging is not.
I've been in CHC for the past 8 years, and I really love this church, and have grown so much spiritually in this church. Being a CGL has been a privillege, being able to minister to the ple, helping them to grow etc. The fellowship of the cgls...my close frens Ru and Jeryn, and Roy. Really enjoy their company, serving God together with them. And today when I went to find Ru at the front to pass her flowers and a card for her bday with Jeryn, it was such a warm feeling all over again. The leaders in front booking seats and yups..this rush I always felt standing in the front rows of the church, praising and worshiping God with the other leaders. Pastor Kong....always inspired me by the way he fasted and prayed and challenged us to put God first. It is in this church where I experienced the love of God, the warm touch of the Holy Spirit. And here I am today.
Thats why its so painful for me to feel this way.
Daniel...was a man God used mightily. But he didn't just behave culturally like the Babylons. To me, it speaks of salt and light, penetrating the mkt place. But Daniel, also had a strong set of beliefs, and he openly worshipped God, not in fear of persecution. Likewise Joseph in Egypt and Jesus among the jews...tho he walked and fellowshipped with them, He had deviant views on many issues from the norm.
But I believe that God doesn't just use the Daniel model, He also uses the Job model (suffering, yet praising God), the Paul model (persecuted for Christ's sake). Paul said very specifically:
1 Timothy 6:6-12 6 Now godliness with contentment is great gain. 7 For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. 8 And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content. 9 But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and harmful lusts which drown men in destruction and perdition. 10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. 11 But you, O man of God, flee these things and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, gentleness.
Why is the church not preaching more on righteousness, godliness, love etc? And why is the emphasis on being successful in the mkt place? Being successful in the mkt place is a means to an end- the end being God's gospel is being preached, and there are finances to support it, and we become salt and light.
Have we gone to a new level, a higher level, and we are now talking abt mkt place and success and all that? I really don't understand...
I couldn't say the prayer together with pastor today, when he prayed, God make us more trendy, modern, prosperous etc.
We want to be all things to all men, to reach out to ple, but...
God reached out not just to the trendy, He reached out to ple who felt unwanted and unloved by society.
Being prosperous, successful, excellent. Having promotions in our careers, scoring our As and all that. If we believe in all that, then the vision to build God a hse in the mkt place, for the mkt place to penetrate the mkt place. A building that will cause a few hundred millions and looks like sydney opera house. I really struggle to identify with all that. Is that wat God calls us to be? Or can we make better use of our finances to help the poor who are suffering?
I pray everyday to God that He will open up my mind if I am being stubborn, prideful etc. But every week when I go for service, its the same message I'm getting all over again.
Pastor said before that sometimes when the church moves into a new level, ple will fall away, cos they can't follow the vision. I am hoping sincerely that I am not a person who has fallen away...and been siffed out by the devil. It pains me to write this post, and this post is as open as I can get about how I am feeling. And one of the reasons why I stepped down as a cgl.
But I really tink it is a noble cause to be serving as a cgl in church, and many of them lay down their lives for God. I just couldn't continue...not being able to flow with the vision or pass down the vision to the mbrs.
No church is perfect, but we choose a church with a vision that we can identify with. And I'm gradually seeing that I can't identify with the church's vision anymore.
