Prayer and hearing God

I've been reading two books. The first book is Hearing God's Voice by Henry and Richard Blackaby.

One of the quotes that spoke to me:
"At times people get an assignment from God, then they race off to do it without waiting for the specifics of how and when he wants them to carry it out. For example, over the years we have been dismayed to see a number of men and women receive God's call to the ministry, but in their impatience to 'get at it', they neglected to seek God's further direction regarding how to prepare for a lifetime of ministry."

Wow, a lifetime of ministry indeed. Every day, every experience, every person we meet, is preparing us for a lifetime of ministry.

I was also very encouraged by Phillip Yancey's Prayer. He is one of those authors that u can read comfortably, one of those books that soothes your soul and deals with very real questions of doubts, fears etc. In essence, I am enjoying this book because it admits that it doesn't know all the answers.

"Prayer has become for me much more than a shopping list of requests to present to God. It has become a re-alignment of everything. I pray to restore the truth of the universe, to gain a glimpse of the world, and of me, through the eyes of God. In prayer, I shift my point of view away from my own selfishness...Prayer is the act of seeing reality from God's point of view."

In the book, Yancey speaks of coming before God in honesty because the way I think and feel as I pray, rather than words I speak may be the real prayer that God hears. The barrier to our intimacy with God is when we try to hide things from Him. We gotto trust Him with the things that He already knows. Yancey gives an analogy of how we share very superficial things with friends we are not close with. In a similar way, when we remain superficial with God, we can't get very intimate with Him.

One thing I felt affirmed me in my walk with Him this year ( yes time to do reflections, again), is how God searches in our hearts to reveal hidden sin and any forms of unrighteousness. Yet when we lay bare to God what is on the inside of our hearts, He still bids us to come and accepts us in our fallen state. It is almost as if He is saying He loves every part of me. And yes I am thankful.

In Prayer, Yancey speaks of a young Jewish girl. Etty Hillesum who kept a journal during her stay in Auschwitz, she wrote " Sometimes when I stand in some corner of the camp, my feet planted on Yr earth, my eyes raised towards Your Heaven, tears sometimes run down my face tears of deep emotion and gratitude... For once you have begun to walk with God, you need only keep on walking with God and all of life becomes one long stroll- a marvelous feeling."

I havent reached that stage of marvelous feeling yet. I don't know if I will. But for now, I know that all He wants is for me to be honest with Him abt everything.