I made it to Raffles Girls' School with a high PSLE score and 4 A*. I was so proud and happy of myself! I wanted to go to Dunman High but my dad said since I can make it to RGS, why not try it? And I decided to go for it.
I didn't like RGS at first cos the people were very english ed, and some of them were quite proud (to me initially). But I got to know them better and I realise that they were quite nice. Though we were from different backgrounds (many of them from english ed/private primary schools) and I found it hard to click with some of them, I got to know some close frens after some time. We all had similar chinese speaking families. And I got to know my best friend Huiyun in sec 1.
In secondary 3, I had a classmate called Kristin, who invited me to visit her church/cell group outings. For quite a few times, I declined politely as I didn't feel ready to commit to going to church once a week. Until sec 3 where there was a christmas party that Kristin invited me to. I pushed back an answer but she kept asking, and on the night before I thought she would forget it, but she called me and persuaded me over the phone.
I went!
The party was held at some function room, and there were door gifts and all that. It was a combined cell group party, with at least 40 people in the room. Then there were some games and then there were christmas carols. Kristin sang! I found it quite strange that some people were lifting up their hands when they sang. And then Pastor Audrey (then Sister Audrey) started preaching and at the end, she asked who wanted to believe in God? I peeked and saw 2 hands lifted up but I didn't cos I needed time to think.
After the party, this lady called Venetia came over to talk to me. She asked me if I was a christian. I said I believe in God. (I believe that many of us were in my stage. We believe in God, but to progress further like having a commitment to go to church, thats gonna take so much courage)
Vene: Why don't you come to church next week?
XJ: Not sure leh. I want to finish reading my bible first then decide.
Vene: Many people say that, but when will you finish reading your bible?
XJ: I am reading Genesis now. Let me think about it.
I went to my first service on the week after the party. And it was a strange feeling. It was held at the old Hollywood theatre at tanjong katong. I waited for Kristin at the KFC next to the church and Vene came back and tapped my shoulder. She said Kristin was sick and wasn't coming. (I thought in my heart, Oh man, without Kristin, just me alone?) I entered the church with Vene, the place was crammed with people and the music was loud. People were clapping their hands and jumping up and down. People were lifting up hands and singing songs. I don't recall the service, but at the end, when Pastor Kong asked who wanted to receive Christ, I put up my hand and I remember clearly that Vene put her hand over my shoulder and walked with me.
I regretted my decision right after. Or maybe I reconsidered my situation. I remember sitting at the toilet bowl (heh) and asking "God" if He was real. And I deliberated, if He were real, should I start attending church regularly? Do I have time since my school is so busy? Cos of that I did not attend church for the next week. It happened that my friend asked me for Disney on Ice, and she had free tickets! So I went with her, which was really an excuse for not going to church. :P
The next week after the disney on ice, venetia called me again. I don't remember what she said to me, but it convinced me to go again. And this time I brought my sister along. And I decided to go down for the altar call again, and my sister did too!
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