Show me Your heart

I picked up my guitar that I had not been playing for a while and worshipped God just now. I sang a lot of the songs I used to sing in the past. Yeah...I miss worshipping God with these songs:

1) THERE IS A PLACE IN YOUR HEART
I AM LONGING TO FIND
WON'T YOU SHOW ME
THERE IS A PLACE I KNOW
I CAN RUN TO AND HIDE
WON'T YOU SHOW ME
SHOW ME
SHOW ME
SHOW ME YOUR HEART

2) I WANT TO SING
UNTIL I AM LOST IN YOUR LOVE
TILL I'M FOUND IN YOUR PRESENCE
WORSHIPPING BEFORE YOUR THRONE
MOVE BY YOUR SPIRIT
ENTERING INTO YOUR FLOW
HOW PRECIOUS THIS MOMENT
LORD I WANT YOU TO KNOW

IT'S YOU, YOU WHO HAVE WON MY HEART
TAKEN ME INTO YOUR ARMS
COMFORTED ME LIKE A FRIEND
YOUR LOVE
SURROUNDED ME FROM THE START
I NEVER WANT TO BE APART
FROM YOU EVER AGAIN

I was very touched, bcos God showed me that I loved Him and wanted to know His heart. And I guess I had created a separation betw CHC and post CHC me. Yet, the CHC me, told God that I loved Him earnestly. Albeit untested. But yes, with all sincerity wanting to honour Him.
Just like Pastor Edmund said when he told his wife he loved her 20 years ago when they got married that she loved her with all sincerity, now his love for her is many times more.

I think I can worship again....

Through different ones that He somehow prompted and led to speak to me, esp yesterday night's talk with Ed showed me how much God loved me. Not just love me, but my identity in Christ is precious. I'm thankful that he had the courage to obey God to speak to me, even though it was difficult and painful. Which makes it all the more precious, that God would arrange for divine settings and encounters, bcos we are precious enough for Him to do so.

Part of the reason why I am so tired, I guess....is bcos I think that it is never enough. More souls to save, more things to do and not everyone will get healed or get saved. It tires me out thinking abt that.
But yet, each ernest surrender, each desire to do His will...He knows. And most of all, it was never about our giving. It was about HIS giving.
So He can heal the past. He can take away the condemnation abt being not-enough, not doing enough, and rewrite the results of wrong decisions.

I am deeply thankful for the love shown to me. And i surrender to Him again. It was never about my surrender but His sacrifice. It is a mixture of pain & joy. Pray that I may know His love. And through this knowing, know that He will take care of the one(s) I love.