Sunday, March 04, 2007

Setting my house in order

God has been teaching me a lot of things this week. Just by my mum fracturing her ankle, and how we are all adjusting life at home without her. Also the cosy visits at the hospital room, perhaps get to talk much more and interact with my parents than ever before.

Today I brought Q to church, and I felt such a tremendous sense of peace and amazement of how He is just moving in her life :). Really everything in His time. And today pastor was talking about enlarging our tents and how knowing God was such a fantastically joyful thing, because you do not just receive forgiveness, but it gives u a new life. I am so amazed at how simple evangelism can actually be, which is simply: sharing the good news of a loving Father who loves you unconditionally. Flipping thru sermon notes, and saw what Pastor Edmund had said before, that God pours His love unconditonally, but from men's point of view, we cannot receive it. But once the heart is open...wow, the love pours forth into the heart and heals the broken heartedness. God's love has always been the thing that saw me through every difficult situation, no matter how difficult, lonely or depressed I felt, I know that my greatest comforter is God.

And so maybe in this post I will just blabber a bit. :) Ha... so many thoughts running through my mind right now. How good He is, and how amazing He has called me to a new place, a new church where I can call my home, and yup, where I can "come out of Egypt", into a new land of milk and honey.

Today the topic was on broken down walls, and accessing those walls in our lives and taking decisive action. A broken down wall for me is definitely family relationships. I have fears of/about my parents that go down so deep, and I don't like to acknowledge these fears. Perhaps it is more comforting sweeping them under the carpet. Yet the word spoken today reminded me that I should face those fears that are hidden, and from there receive healing and move forward. And this whole incident of my mum being hospitalised...I must say it just came so close...it's right 1 week after the quarrel I had with Dad about going to Africa with World Vision for a trip. I was very upset then with my parents, and cried out and travailed with God for an hour at least, and felt a deep sense of burden. Fasted during the week. I believe that God is doing a new work in my life. I believe that He is calling me to come out of Egypt, out of my fears & bondages that hold me back for He is doing something new in my life.

Just thought of how good God is, to help me set my house in order first- the inner conditions of my heart and in the family. :)

I'm very tired. But very very thankful from the depths of my heart. :)

Was reading Tim Chester's book again yesterday, and he wrote about:
"Godly contentment is not about austerity or ascentricism. It is about enjoyment.. involve opting for something of greater value."
I was reflecting about whether I am really trying to spend less/live simply out of legalism (aka treating it as a sacrifice), or do I really enjoy the choices that I have made? Am I really convicted that choosing God is far more satisfying than the alternative (material satisfaction)? With this mind blowing revelation, I realise that choosing God is actually for my own good rather than a sacrifice. He loves us too much to not give us what is best for us. Just that humanly, we sometimes cannot grasp that the alternative is so valuable.

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