We had an interesting cg session on Monday, and we were talking about whether we can lose our salvation. I think thats a whole huge debate that has been going on for ages. So where is my stand on it? It reminds me of that faithful day when I was in Burger King, debating this with J, and being angry when he insisted on this concept of once saved always saved. But then a lightbulb lit and I saw it from a different perspective, of how our salvation is not upheld by our own hands or by our works, but how a good God protects our faith from being destroyed. Yup, and what good news that everyday I live my life as a christian knowing that He is keeping me...He is keeping me from falling. And I don't have to worry, did I pray enough today, was I nice to someone today, and will I wake up the next day in heaven? Cos I am assured that I will be in heaven with faith in my God.
Yet, another aspect that makes me not so comfortable...Remembering the warnings in the bible of those who come to God, and the reply was that, I do not know you. Or how about choosing the goats and the sheep? Hmm. Maybe I am not reading those verses in its entire context. Somehow sometimes I feel that it is so unfair that some people could be really nice and all, but yet they end up in hell because they don't know God. That's prob so why I think what C.S. Lewis said makes much sense...in my blog some time ago, about how people are in the process of being saved. Hmm.
And maybe with the concept that God is all accepting, we may not be inspired to do more works. The other opinion is that because I know God is all accepting, therefore I am even more encouraged to serve Him more. But I don't know how many of us take God's grace for granted. I know for me I tend to err on the other extreme of legalism. So I don't know if we can err on the side of grace. Or can we be all comfortable and all being christians, knowing we are saved and yet not doing anything about it. And also how radical is this call of God in our lives?
I dread growing older and compromising on God's call, just find a good husband, marry, have kids and earn a steady income. Be faithful serving in a church. Maybe that is a calling. Maybe that is not? It is always easier to think that being called to serve in Singapore in the mkt place is our calling, because the alternative seems much more difficult. Don't mistake me, I think that it is a challenge as well being in a ministry say of serving lawyers and reaching out to them. I am sure sometimes it just gets really lonely esp when yr peers have different values from you. But yes, it must be a calling to stay in a job and to serve in this manner. I wonder how many of us has never ever stopped to ask God what our calling is, but simply continue with our dreams and aspirations as if our lives were our own....continue making plans for our retirement, and for our etc etc.
Hai, this is a very intensed post as u can see, I've been thinking a lot about these things. And I am scared of losing myself. I am scared of compromising and going with the norm.
Yest during counseling class we were talking about singlehood, and there was this lady who said if she had a 4K salary, she will not consider someone who was earning 2K. Hmm. And on the inside I was thinking how diff people value different things. Like for me, I value more that a person is living out his life in God's plan and will. And yah, if someone gave up prospects to serve God full time, I will be so inspired by this man who goes against the norms (again not suggesting that it is godly only if someone does that). I'm wondering if I will find someone who has crazy ideas like me. ;D I wonder if anyone feels like me. Or am I going crazy. I sometimes wonder if being at peace with yrself and with the world is a good thing. Because maybe the world is not so peaceful afterall and it needs us to fight a good fight.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Is it time to start anew?
I'm so thankful for the sermon today, and this one phrase that Pastor Ed shared lingers in my heart even now. Peace is not the absence of trouble but the presence of God. It brings to my mind my journey back then in ministry, thinking about whether the many troubles that happened to my cell group members and myself meant that I was not called to serve in this area. And this sermon gave me a revelation that perhaps God had wanted me to walk through the troubles, with His presence by my side. Not to fix my eyes on the problems and fixing my eyes on what He has called me to do.
Seeing the video today with the vibrant youths made my heart leap with excitement. Youths...an age where they are so mouldable and in need of proper guidance. In need of love and their love tank to be filled. It stirred deep within me memories of youths jumping up and down in CHC. Heh. It reminded me of how yielded youths can be. And I remembered the faces of youths who felt unloved, who dropped out from school, who took up smoking, who felt lonely, who struggled with their studies, who were upset with their friends...Tears of healing streaming down faces of youths...Oh gosh, this love I've for youths. Though I have some apprehensions, my counseling teacher said before, if yr own love tank is empty, u have nothing to offer others! I wonder if my love tank has been refilled. Or do I need more time?
Seeing the video today with the vibrant youths made my heart leap with excitement. Youths...an age where they are so mouldable and in need of proper guidance. In need of love and their love tank to be filled. It stirred deep within me memories of youths jumping up and down in CHC. Heh. It reminded me of how yielded youths can be. And I remembered the faces of youths who felt unloved, who dropped out from school, who took up smoking, who felt lonely, who struggled with their studies, who were upset with their friends...Tears of healing streaming down faces of youths...Oh gosh, this love I've for youths. Though I have some apprehensions, my counseling teacher said before, if yr own love tank is empty, u have nothing to offer others! I wonder if my love tank has been refilled. Or do I need more time?
Saturday, March 17, 2007
Loving the excluded
Worth thinking about:
1) Stan and Mari Thekaekara work with tribal peoples in the Nilgiris Hills of India. Their reflections on visiting a number of projects in inner city areas of the UK are reproduced in a report from the Centre for Innovation in Voluntary Action:
"On arriving in the UK, it is difficult at first for a visitor from a Third World country to immediately perceive that poverty exists at all. Everyone was better housed, clad and fed. Everyone seemed to have a television, a fridge- some even had cars- all items of luxury for the majority of people in India. But as the week went by we began to see beyond the televisions, refrigerators and cars. Amazingly, similarities between the people of Easterhouse* and Paniyas of the Nilgiris began to emerge. Though the face of poverty was completely different, the impact was exactly the same. - cited in Ingrid Hanson, Faces of Poverty: The State of Britain in the 90s."
-Tim Chester, Good News to the Poor
*Note:
A district of Glasgow, Easterhouse lies to the east of the city centre- the settlement came to be associated with high unemployment, poverty and deprivation. In the 1990s the Greater Easterhouse Development Company was formed to help attract industry to the area.
2) When Christ said: "I was hungry and you fed me," he didn't mean only the hunger for bread and for food; the hunger to be loved. Jesus experienced this loneliness. He came amongst his own and his own received him not, and it hurt him then and it has kept hurting him. The same hunger, the same loneliness, the same having no one accepted by and to be loved and wanted by. Every human being in that case resembles Christ in his loneliness; and that is the hardest part, that's real hunger.
-Mother Teresa
1) Stan and Mari Thekaekara work with tribal peoples in the Nilgiris Hills of India. Their reflections on visiting a number of projects in inner city areas of the UK are reproduced in a report from the Centre for Innovation in Voluntary Action:
"On arriving in the UK, it is difficult at first for a visitor from a Third World country to immediately perceive that poverty exists at all. Everyone was better housed, clad and fed. Everyone seemed to have a television, a fridge- some even had cars- all items of luxury for the majority of people in India. But as the week went by we began to see beyond the televisions, refrigerators and cars. Amazingly, similarities between the people of Easterhouse* and Paniyas of the Nilgiris began to emerge. Though the face of poverty was completely different, the impact was exactly the same. - cited in Ingrid Hanson, Faces of Poverty: The State of Britain in the 90s."
-Tim Chester, Good News to the Poor
*Note:
A district of Glasgow, Easterhouse lies to the east of the city centre- the settlement came to be associated with high unemployment, poverty and deprivation. In the 1990s the Greater Easterhouse Development Company was formed to help attract industry to the area.
2) When Christ said: "I was hungry and you fed me," he didn't mean only the hunger for bread and for food; the hunger to be loved. Jesus experienced this loneliness. He came amongst his own and his own received him not, and it hurt him then and it has kept hurting him. The same hunger, the same loneliness, the same having no one accepted by and to be loved and wanted by. Every human being in that case resembles Christ in his loneliness; and that is the hardest part, that's real hunger.
-Mother Teresa
Calling
I thought this was pretty good and it spoke to me..
GRACE@WORK MAIL 11/07
[March 16, 2007 Edition]
"I tell you the solemn truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains by itself alone. But if it dies, it produces much grain."
(John 12:24 NET)
Commentary: One Life to Live
She had a professional qualification in accounting and had worked in one of the Big 4 accounting firms for a while. But deep down she knew she was a teacher with a special love for preschoolers. And so she resigned from her accounting job and became a kindergarten
teacher in her church. The drop in salary was drastic. She had to take another job to make ends meet. But her faith was strong. And her joy was real.
Her story moved me profoundly.
If you are a regular reader of this column you will know that I do not divide jobs on the basis of whether they are secular or spiritual. If you are a regular reader of this column you will know that I champion the call for Christians to understand that God calls us into all sorts of work and
not just into church related work. And we definitely need God's people in the Big 4!
But what moved me about my friend's decision was that she had the courage and the faith to be true to her heart's call.
There will be those who will call her decision a waste. What a waste to give up a job of such earning potential. What a waste of her had earned expertise in accountancy. And doesn't she know how expensive it is to live these days? Doesn't she know the crushing effects of inflation on those of us who are not rich?
I heard the same arguments when I came to understand that God wanted me to leave dentistry to be a full time minister of the Word. I had expected that non-Christian friends would have found it difficult to accept such a counter-cultural decision. What I didn't expect was that most of the resistance to my leaving dentistry to go into a church related vocation came from Christians.
I would have thought that Christians would be the first to understand that our lives are not our own and that we are all but stewards of the lives we have received. I would have thought that Christians would understand that their security lies ultimately in the Lord and not in the monthly pay cheque, and that the most secure place one can be is walking in the will of the Lord wherever that journey takes you.
I was wrong.
It seems that many churches are not places that encourage people to discover their vocations, and support them as they embark on their God-given adventures. And it seems like this reluctance to think of life in vocational terms is not new.
At the age of 30, Albert Schweitzer decided to leave his position as principal of a theological seminary to enter medical school to prepare to be a missionary doctor to Africa. He talks about the resistance he received.
"My relatives and friends reproached me for the folly of my enterprise. They said I was a man who was burying the talent entrusted to him and wanted to trade in false currency. I ought to leave work among Africans to those who would not thereby abandon gifts and achievements in scholarship and the arts...
In the many adversarial debates I had to endure with people who passed for Christians, it amazed me to see them unable to perceive that the desire to serve the love preached by Jesus may sweep a man into a new course of life. They read in the New Testament that it can do so, and found it quite in order there.
I had assumed that familiarity with the sayings of Jesus would give a much better comprehension of what to popular logic is not rational."
(Albert Schweitzer, Out of My Life and Thought, Baltimore: The Johns Hopkins
University Press, 1998, pp. 81-95.)
We cheat the world of the Schweitzers in our midst by not encouraging our people to find and pursue their vocations. And we cheat ourselves and our children from living lives of meaning and significance.
How do we discover our vocation? I believe discovering our vocation is a life long journey. A good starting place is to consider the primary calls on our lives. We have been called to love God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength, and to love our neighbour as ourselves (Mark 12:29-31). With my abilities, burdens and opportunities how do I best love God and neighbour at this point of my life?
And here is Frederick Buechner's oft quoted advice:
"By and large a good rule for finding out (your life calling) is this: the kind of work God usually calls you to do is the kind of work (a) that you need most to do and (b) that the world most needs to have done. If you really get a kick out of your work, you've presumably met requirement (a), but if your work is writing cigarette ads, the chances are you've missed
requirement (b). On the other hand, if your work is being a doctor in a leper colony, you
have probably met requirement (b) but if most of the time you're bored and
depressed by it, chances are you have not only bypassed (a), but probably
aren't helping your patients much either. Neither the hair shirt nor the soft berth will do. The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet."
(Frederick Buechner, Wishful Thinking: A Theological ABC, New York: Harper &
Row, 1973, p.95.)
I also believe there is no ideal time to pursue one's vocation. Some of us carry heavy financial responsibilities --- aged parents to care for, children to feed etc. The Lord knows that. We may have to do one job to put food on the table while pursuing our vocation outside of work time --- and striving to do our best in both responsibilities. Others may have to wait
for another season in their lives to pursue their vocation full time.
The Lord knows the details of your life and will work out everything in the end. Nothing will be wasted. We are to follow God in the realities of our life and not in some romantic never-never land.
But what all of us need is the courage and faith of my young friend who became a kindergarten teacher. At some point we need to choose the security of obeying God over the security that comes from popular logic. And when we do that we find life, life for others and life for ourselves.
Your brother,
Soo-Inn Tan
Email: sooinn@graceatwork.org
GRACE@WORK MAIL 11/07
[March 16, 2007 Edition]
"I tell you the solemn truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains by itself alone. But if it dies, it produces much grain."
(John 12:24 NET)
Commentary: One Life to Live
She had a professional qualification in accounting and had worked in one of the Big 4 accounting firms for a while. But deep down she knew she was a teacher with a special love for preschoolers. And so she resigned from her accounting job and became a kindergarten
teacher in her church. The drop in salary was drastic. She had to take another job to make ends meet. But her faith was strong. And her joy was real.
Her story moved me profoundly.
If you are a regular reader of this column you will know that I do not divide jobs on the basis of whether they are secular or spiritual. If you are a regular reader of this column you will know that I champion the call for Christians to understand that God calls us into all sorts of work and
not just into church related work. And we definitely need God's people in the Big 4!
But what moved me about my friend's decision was that she had the courage and the faith to be true to her heart's call.
There will be those who will call her decision a waste. What a waste to give up a job of such earning potential. What a waste of her had earned expertise in accountancy. And doesn't she know how expensive it is to live these days? Doesn't she know the crushing effects of inflation on those of us who are not rich?
I heard the same arguments when I came to understand that God wanted me to leave dentistry to be a full time minister of the Word. I had expected that non-Christian friends would have found it difficult to accept such a counter-cultural decision. What I didn't expect was that most of the resistance to my leaving dentistry to go into a church related vocation came from Christians.
I would have thought that Christians would be the first to understand that our lives are not our own and that we are all but stewards of the lives we have received. I would have thought that Christians would understand that their security lies ultimately in the Lord and not in the monthly pay cheque, and that the most secure place one can be is walking in the will of the Lord wherever that journey takes you.
I was wrong.
It seems that many churches are not places that encourage people to discover their vocations, and support them as they embark on their God-given adventures. And it seems like this reluctance to think of life in vocational terms is not new.
At the age of 30, Albert Schweitzer decided to leave his position as principal of a theological seminary to enter medical school to prepare to be a missionary doctor to Africa. He talks about the resistance he received.
"My relatives and friends reproached me for the folly of my enterprise. They said I was a man who was burying the talent entrusted to him and wanted to trade in false currency. I ought to leave work among Africans to those who would not thereby abandon gifts and achievements in scholarship and the arts...
In the many adversarial debates I had to endure with people who passed for Christians, it amazed me to see them unable to perceive that the desire to serve the love preached by Jesus may sweep a man into a new course of life. They read in the New Testament that it can do so, and found it quite in order there.
I had assumed that familiarity with the sayings of Jesus would give a much better comprehension of what to popular logic is not rational."
(Albert Schweitzer, Out of My Life and Thought, Baltimore: The Johns Hopkins
University Press, 1998, pp. 81-95.)
We cheat the world of the Schweitzers in our midst by not encouraging our people to find and pursue their vocations. And we cheat ourselves and our children from living lives of meaning and significance.
How do we discover our vocation? I believe discovering our vocation is a life long journey. A good starting place is to consider the primary calls on our lives. We have been called to love God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength, and to love our neighbour as ourselves (Mark 12:29-31). With my abilities, burdens and opportunities how do I best love God and neighbour at this point of my life?
And here is Frederick Buechner's oft quoted advice:
"By and large a good rule for finding out (your life calling) is this: the kind of work God usually calls you to do is the kind of work (a) that you need most to do and (b) that the world most needs to have done. If you really get a kick out of your work, you've presumably met requirement (a), but if your work is writing cigarette ads, the chances are you've missed
requirement (b). On the other hand, if your work is being a doctor in a leper colony, you
have probably met requirement (b) but if most of the time you're bored and
depressed by it, chances are you have not only bypassed (a), but probably
aren't helping your patients much either. Neither the hair shirt nor the soft berth will do. The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet."
(Frederick Buechner, Wishful Thinking: A Theological ABC, New York: Harper &
Row, 1973, p.95.)
I also believe there is no ideal time to pursue one's vocation. Some of us carry heavy financial responsibilities --- aged parents to care for, children to feed etc. The Lord knows that. We may have to do one job to put food on the table while pursuing our vocation outside of work time --- and striving to do our best in both responsibilities. Others may have to wait
for another season in their lives to pursue their vocation full time.
The Lord knows the details of your life and will work out everything in the end. Nothing will be wasted. We are to follow God in the realities of our life and not in some romantic never-never land.
But what all of us need is the courage and faith of my young friend who became a kindergarten teacher. At some point we need to choose the security of obeying God over the security that comes from popular logic. And when we do that we find life, life for others and life for ourselves.
Your brother,
Soo-Inn Tan
Email: sooinn@graceatwork.org
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Setting my house in order
God has been teaching me a lot of things this week. Just by my mum fracturing her ankle, and how we are all adjusting life at home without her. Also the cosy visits at the hospital room, perhaps get to talk much more and interact with my parents than ever before.
Today I brought Q to church, and I felt such a tremendous sense of peace and amazement of how He is just moving in her life :). Really everything in His time. And today pastor was talking about enlarging our tents and how knowing God was such a fantastically joyful thing, because you do not just receive forgiveness, but it gives u a new life. I am so amazed at how simple evangelism can actually be, which is simply: sharing the good news of a loving Father who loves you unconditionally. Flipping thru sermon notes, and saw what Pastor Edmund had said before, that God pours His love unconditonally, but from men's point of view, we cannot receive it. But once the heart is open...wow, the love pours forth into the heart and heals the broken heartedness. God's love has always been the thing that saw me through every difficult situation, no matter how difficult, lonely or depressed I felt, I know that my greatest comforter is God.
And so maybe in this post I will just blabber a bit. :) Ha... so many thoughts running through my mind right now. How good He is, and how amazing He has called me to a new place, a new church where I can call my home, and yup, where I can "come out of Egypt", into a new land of milk and honey.
Today the topic was on broken down walls, and accessing those walls in our lives and taking decisive action. A broken down wall for me is definitely family relationships. I have fears of/about my parents that go down so deep, and I don't like to acknowledge these fears. Perhaps it is more comforting sweeping them under the carpet. Yet the word spoken today reminded me that I should face those fears that are hidden, and from there receive healing and move forward. And this whole incident of my mum being hospitalised...I must say it just came so close...it's right 1 week after the quarrel I had with Dad about going to Africa with World Vision for a trip. I was very upset then with my parents, and cried out and travailed with God for an hour at least, and felt a deep sense of burden. Fasted during the week. I believe that God is doing a new work in my life. I believe that He is calling me to come out of Egypt, out of my fears & bondages that hold me back for He is doing something new in my life.
Just thought of how good God is, to help me set my house in order first- the inner conditions of my heart and in the family. :)
I'm very tired. But very very thankful from the depths of my heart. :)
Was reading Tim Chester's book again yesterday, and he wrote about:
"Godly contentment is not about austerity or ascentricism. It is about enjoyment.. involve opting for something of greater value."
I was reflecting about whether I am really trying to spend less/live simply out of legalism (aka treating it as a sacrifice), or do I really enjoy the choices that I have made? Am I really convicted that choosing God is far more satisfying than the alternative (material satisfaction)? With this mind blowing revelation, I realise that choosing God is actually for my own good rather than a sacrifice. He loves us too much to not give us what is best for us. Just that humanly, we sometimes cannot grasp that the alternative is so valuable.
Today I brought Q to church, and I felt such a tremendous sense of peace and amazement of how He is just moving in her life :). Really everything in His time. And today pastor was talking about enlarging our tents and how knowing God was such a fantastically joyful thing, because you do not just receive forgiveness, but it gives u a new life. I am so amazed at how simple evangelism can actually be, which is simply: sharing the good news of a loving Father who loves you unconditionally. Flipping thru sermon notes, and saw what Pastor Edmund had said before, that God pours His love unconditonally, but from men's point of view, we cannot receive it. But once the heart is open...wow, the love pours forth into the heart and heals the broken heartedness. God's love has always been the thing that saw me through every difficult situation, no matter how difficult, lonely or depressed I felt, I know that my greatest comforter is God.
And so maybe in this post I will just blabber a bit. :) Ha... so many thoughts running through my mind right now. How good He is, and how amazing He has called me to a new place, a new church where I can call my home, and yup, where I can "come out of Egypt", into a new land of milk and honey.
Today the topic was on broken down walls, and accessing those walls in our lives and taking decisive action. A broken down wall for me is definitely family relationships. I have fears of/about my parents that go down so deep, and I don't like to acknowledge these fears. Perhaps it is more comforting sweeping them under the carpet. Yet the word spoken today reminded me that I should face those fears that are hidden, and from there receive healing and move forward. And this whole incident of my mum being hospitalised...I must say it just came so close...it's right 1 week after the quarrel I had with Dad about going to Africa with World Vision for a trip. I was very upset then with my parents, and cried out and travailed with God for an hour at least, and felt a deep sense of burden. Fasted during the week. I believe that God is doing a new work in my life. I believe that He is calling me to come out of Egypt, out of my fears & bondages that hold me back for He is doing something new in my life.
Just thought of how good God is, to help me set my house in order first- the inner conditions of my heart and in the family. :)
I'm very tired. But very very thankful from the depths of my heart. :)
Was reading Tim Chester's book again yesterday, and he wrote about:
"Godly contentment is not about austerity or ascentricism. It is about enjoyment.. involve opting for something of greater value."
I was reflecting about whether I am really trying to spend less/live simply out of legalism (aka treating it as a sacrifice), or do I really enjoy the choices that I have made? Am I really convicted that choosing God is far more satisfying than the alternative (material satisfaction)? With this mind blowing revelation, I realise that choosing God is actually for my own good rather than a sacrifice. He loves us too much to not give us what is best for us. Just that humanly, we sometimes cannot grasp that the alternative is so valuable.
Friday, March 02, 2007
Not what it seems
Interesting article by Philip Yancey
http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2007/march/22.120.html
"The world is full of pain. The prosperity promised on religious television must exist in some alternate universe from what I encounter as I visit churches in person. For all its faults and failures, the church offers a place to bring wounds and to seek meaning in times of brokenness and struggle...
In one meeting, a 20-year-old came to the microphone and chided me for not taking literally the Bible's promise about faith that can move mountains. I agreed I needed a larger dose of such childlike faith, yet at the same time, I could not dishonor the pain of suffering people by telling them their faith is somehow defective.
From such souls, I learn that life is not a problem to be solved but a mystery to be lived. Prayer offers no ironclad guarantees, just the certain promise that we need not live that mystery alone."
http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2007/march/22.120.html
"The world is full of pain. The prosperity promised on religious television must exist in some alternate universe from what I encounter as I visit churches in person. For all its faults and failures, the church offers a place to bring wounds and to seek meaning in times of brokenness and struggle...
In one meeting, a 20-year-old came to the microphone and chided me for not taking literally the Bible's promise about faith that can move mountains. I agreed I needed a larger dose of such childlike faith, yet at the same time, I could not dishonor the pain of suffering people by telling them their faith is somehow defective.
From such souls, I learn that life is not a problem to be solved but a mystery to be lived. Prayer offers no ironclad guarantees, just the certain promise that we need not live that mystery alone."
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