Fix yr eyes on Jesus

I'm beginning to appreciate this journey that I am going through, God meant everything for good. ;) Listened to a Charles Spurgeon audio sermon just now, and he was talking abt how the law brings sin- cos with the law, we realise how sinful we are, and we cannot meet the requirements of the law without God! And hence when we are convicted of our sins, we realise how really sinful we are, and how in need of mercy we are.
In CHC, I've learnt that we are not "worms" but we are children of God, and we walk in righteousness and boldness. The latter is true of cos. But I think that a contrite heart, and the realisation of how in need of God we are, are necessary ingredients of conversion. For only with repentance comes salvation.
During this period of time I can't tell u how often I feel so condemned and unworthy. It may be a natural process when we realise we are sinful in nature. Yups, and it is probably part of the christian journey, of having our prides broken, and asking for God to be merciful.
Afterall, why did Paul say that of all people he was the chief sinner!

The circumstances are not perfect, but we all have to get on with our lives. Thoughts come into our mind like torrents. We have to filter them, protect our mind, and shield it with all our might. Let it be that even in the midst of the storm, we fix our eyes on Jesus. So the storms may take place on the exterior, but the interior is always still & peaceful, cos it has its eyes on Christ.

People may not be perfect, and offenses WILL come, that's what Jesus said. But guess what, anger is satan's bait for us to sin. Not that we cannot be angry, but we must learn daily not to take offenses personally, and learn to release our pain to God.

Just went to Church of our Saviour. There are things that I liked about it, cos I am used to the charismatic kind of worship, as well as the cell group format. ;) There were ofcos, other things that I am unused to. Hence when my friend asked me how I find it, I could only say "okay". The word "okay" to imply many things. One of which is that a church will never be perfect. If u want to find your fair share of offenses, there will be plenty in the church. That is because God is perfect, but the church is not.

Going on this journey has made me realise how impt it is to fix my eyes on Jesus. No matter what happens, or what christians I meet. These can be said to be peripherals. Because nothing on this earth is perfect. I am more and more critical these days, and I get mad at people for their apathy, or practises. But I must say, be angry if I want to, ultimately, it is to fix my eyes on Jesus, and nothing in this world can shake this relationship between u and the Maker.

Most of all, the time taken to resolve conflicts or quarrel with another christian or ruminating over doctrinal issues could sometimes be better utilised by just walking the talk- doing it, serving people, meeting needs, and helping lives. :)

It will take time for us to figure out what we should do, which ministry to serve in, which occupation to take up. Whatever it is just do something! Do not worry about tmr, live each day as it is, being precious. Each day be a blessing to someone. Start something, do something. We may not have our future all mapped out in front of us, but surely opportunities will come as we take each step of our lives. I must believe this. I have to hold on to this.

Dear God, let me fix my eyes on You. No christian is a lone ranger, for U have called us into a Body. Help me, Help us, as a church, to walk right with You. And make me a blessing to those around me. Thank You Lord. Amen.

Nice quote!

"God has richly blessed us financially not so that we can show ourselves to be his children by living above the standards of others, but so that we can show ourselves to be his children by coming down a few rungs on the ladder of affluence and bringing others up a few rungs, that there might be true, from-the-heart equality."

Money, Possessions & Eternity
Randy Alcorn

The other side of the story..

I've been talking so much abt finances and money, and opposing the "prosperity" gospel. But to be fair, I have to talk abt the other side of the story. I'm not really going to be quoting any verses, but these are just some of my thoughts from what I've experienced.

CHC is indeed a very giving church, and I know that in the years where I've been there, when it came to building fund and missions fund, a lot of us gave our very best. Some of us give so much that our bank account only had a few dollars left- trusting that God will honour us back as we give to Him.

In order for ple to give a lot- they must have the faith that God will provide. And I think that ple really do need to know that! To learn to trust in God's provision.

I believe that God works through our faith. I also believe that as we give, He will always provide for us. Though the part that I am uncomfortable is emphasizing on the blessings that we will get if we give. I think emphasizing on what we can receive seems a bit transactional to me- giving so that u can receive. As opposed to, I know God will provide for me even as I give, but most of all, I give because I love Him.

I am also uncomfy with the question "How many of u want to be rich?" Pastors always a link we want to be rich to be a blessing, but sometimes it is so hard to draw the linkage.

Most of all, I think God sees our hearts. Whether we are dumping our money in the offering so that we can be rich (smtimes it seems to be implied that way from the sermons), or whether we really give with the right hearts/attitudes.

I've to let this go..

Hello hello..yr Target?

Yr Forecast?

Attendance is low, can u all try to bring more...?

"Hello...hey check with u something, what is yr average prayer hour?"

A: "Hello...hey, are you going for the prayer meeting?"
B: "Nope, I'm not... I gotto take care of my mum at home."
C: "Er...hmm...try and go la. Have faith. The prayer meeting will be good."

Communication is an art.
If u miss that, it is going to come out as pressure and not love.

Fang says that mature christians/ leaders will know what is the heart of the pastor. It is not for numbers, but it is for souls. For individuals to come to know God.

Question is, when systems are in place, numbers are to be submitted, how can one ensure that he keeps his heart on the right focus?

I failed. It wasn't me at all, to lecture ple for their legitimate reasons for not going for cg/service. I don't have a conviction in my heart that attendance measured a person's spirituality. But then in my heart, when someone told me he couldn't come, naturally I would think.. sigh, attendance dropped.

I started to dislike myself for thinking that way. Its shdn't be that way at all. What are are concerned about and who are u working for, XJ???

In my search for perfection in everything I did, I was angry with myself for a long time. My conscious bugged me. Is this what being a christian is all about?

What makes a man a christian? Is it by his attendance for activities?
Who can judge a man but God.

Leaders are mere facilitators, mere servants of God.
We are nothing. When we begin to think we are something, we are finished.

When we begin to apply man-made traditions on ple, and man-made judgements/rituals to follow, we put bondages on people.

Man-made systems are not perfect, and neither is man. I am ashamed to say, I've done things wrongly. But thank God for the grace to step down, to start all over again. :)

I care a lot about how ple view me, abt how they view my "spiritual condition". That's because I think ple judge others by what they do on the outside. I know I am not perfect, and I try hard to prevent myself from bitterness. I almost try and justify myself and wanna shout it out- I am doing spiritually okay! But what defines spiritually okay anyway?

I have to be true to myself, and I am who I am. There are things I love that others don't. There're preferences I have that make me unique. And this is me.