Interesting Quote by C.S. Lewis:
" I didn't go to religion to make me happy.
I always knew a bottle of Port would do that.
If you want a religion to make you feel really comfortable,
I certainly don't recommend Christianity."
-----
The church is not a blding..but it is the gathering of a group of believers.
Charles Colson & Ellen Vaughn, Being the Body
"This is the great tension. On the one hand, there is the church God has created and intends for ultimate consummation as the bride of Christ. That church, said C.S. Lewis is a spectacle that makes the boldest demons uneasy, for 'she spread out through all time and space and rooted in eternity, terrible as an army with banners.'
But that ultimate vision is far more glorious than the present reality we see around us everyday in this fallen world: little congregations gathering in white wooden chapels and vast denomintaions meeting in grand cathedrals, street-corner preachers, megachurch pastors, Salvation Army bell ringers, television orators and traveling evangelists. Many of them spend much of the time either bickering with or ignoring each other. This church, the one the world sees, resembles nothing much as a gigantic flea market with the vendors competing against on another, hawking their wares in a huge discordant din.
Messy, ambiguous, imperfect? You bet. There is no perfect or model church. But we should not despair-for at least two reasons.
First, tensions allow for a variety of expressions which, often confounding human wisdom, reach people who might not otherwise be reached. There is richness in our diversity that strengthens the overall witness of the church. Different confessions, because of their own emphasis, make differing aspects of the spiritual reality visble...
Second...The institutional church, like all other institutions, comes under the influence of the Fall...this dynamic may well save us all from the one fate worse than chaos: triumphalism. That is, the very real temptation to believe that we have all of the truth, thus confusing ourselves with the kingdom of God. ..
But as imperfect as we are on this side of heaven, the miracle is that God in fact chooses to use His church-us-as His means of proclaiming love, truth, and hope.
Not always clearly; not always unequivocally. We all cringe when a church leader does some dreadful thing or when a layperson says some crazy thing into television camera. But somehow, through all the muddle, the gospel goes forth. People often come to church for all the wrong reasons, but God draws them to Himself. Churches can thunder down all the wrong tracks, and then repent and be renewed.
Admittedly, the pettiness and failures, the division and discord, can be disheartening at times. What a sorry mess we mortals often make of things in the name of the church! But our comfort comes from God's miraculous promise that He will build His church."
I hope the above comforts u.
I don't enjoy the feeling of church "shopping". I am not shopping. I'm not looking for the perfect, flawless church to belong to. I just want to belong to a church where I can be a part of the body of Christ. Where as a community, we can be a light that shines. Where I can follow the biblical commandment to not give up the meeting of together. In my heart is the ideal church. But the church, made up of individuals like u and me, is never in the ideal state. Yet I believe in God's heart for the church, for as a group of believers, how much more we can impact our society.
I feel such a deep sense of disillusionment within me. Disatisfied a lot of times...and smtimes even angry. Sigh. I don't know how to manage that.
This week when I visited Covenant's cg as I blogged in the other blog, I think many of the ple in the cg belong to rich families. And we have our cars, careers, and studies etc. All these are God's blessings. Then I think...can we live less rich lives and how much more we can give to others. Can we give up our careers and go to mission fields and totally live our lives for God. Can we give up our comfortable lifestyle? And what does it mean to follow God.
Then the next moment I get a lift right home cos my contacts was displaced, and I received smses of encouragement, and it made me feel really loved. And this body of God's believers, tho not perfect in the way we live...yet, being in the body, is God's plan for us, that we may encourage one another in various ways. I ask myself, instead of judging ple, can I judge my own life, am I loving enough, kind enough? Generous enough? And I fall short of everything. Don't mistake me...i'm not preaching about doing more works to please God.
Teach me God, to be more loving, generous and kind. And give me the grace..to live the kind of life u call me to live.
Friday, June 30, 2006
Sunday, June 25, 2006
The Cross
The first time I listened to Smail's tape, I cried and wept. I felt the comforting presence of the Holy Spirit. U know at times when we don't understand why we suffer, or go thru trials, ple tell us we must have FAITH to pray for our breakthrus and to believe in God. And we are really discouraged when we don't get our breakthroughs. Is it cos we don't have enuff faith? But could it be that the world is simply not perfect, and that "God's purposes in such situations is not always to take us out of what is threatening to hurt or destroy us, but is sometimes rather to take us through it. Our ultimate victory comes not from escaping evil but from being given the ability to endure and bear it..."
Find some of the answers here as u struggle thru!
Abstract from Tom Smail- The Cross and the Spirit: Toward a Theology of Renewal
Toward a Theology of Suffering
There is, however, another whole area in which the Paschal model
has much to offer. As well as opening up, as we have just been seeing,
a fresh approach to renewal and healing in their relationship to Christ's
cross, it also makes possible a new understanding of unrelieved suffering
and failure to heal. These are always a great problem for the Pentecostal
model, which is exposed to constant temptation to a glib triumphalism
that arouses in people expectations which it is only sometimes able to
fulfill, with the sad result that many people are left in deep guilt because
they did not have enough faith to be healed, or else in disillusionment
because the promises so confidently made to them have not been kept.
When we expose this whole dark area to the light that comes from
the cross and resurrection of Jesus, we can begin to see that God's
purpose in such situations is not always to take us out of what is
threatening to hurt or destroy us, but is sometimes rather to take us
through it. Our ultimate victory comes not from escaping evil but from
being given the ability to endure and bear it, the way that Jesus bore it
on the cross, so that the death that was its ultimate destructive onslaught
upon Him became the way to His own Easter victory and to the world's
salvation.
When God's own self-giving love gets into the midst of a situation
dominated by sin, suffering, and death, the way it did with Jesus on the
cross, it acts creatively and transformingly on that situation. What is
in itself totally destructive can become, by Christ's presence in it, salvific
and redemptive. Christ does not rise on Easter day in spite of His
sufferings and death, but rather because of them. The risen Jesus is still
the wounded Jesus; in His resurrection He does not leave His passion
behind Him; He bears the marks of it still in His body and displays them
as the trophies of His triumph. His suffering is the very stuff out of
which He fashions His glory.
The New Testament makes it clear that the way of the Master is
the way of the disciple. He calls us to take up our cross and follow Him.
That means that we have no guarantee of immunity either from the
kind of suffering that is a direct consequence of our discipleship or from
the accidents, misfortunes, illnesses, and disabilities that afflict other
people and are as liable to afflict us as well. Paul was imprisoned in
Philippi as a direct result of his Christian witness there (Acts 16:23),
but equally the ship on which he sailed for Rome was not spared the
storm and the shipwreck that were the normal risk of all Mediterranean
seafarers at that time of year (Acts 27). He was rescued from neither a fresh approach to renewal and healing in their relationship to Christ's cross, it also makes possible a new understanding of unrelieved suffering and failure to heal. These are always a great problem for the Pentecostal model, which is exposed to constant temptation to a glib triumphalism that arouses in people expectations which it is only sometimes able to fulfill, with the sad result that many people are left in deep guilt because
they did not have enough faith to be healed, or else in disillusionment
because the promises so confidently made to them have not been kept.
When we expose this whole dark area to the light that comes from
the cross and resurrection of Jesus, we can begin to see that God's
purpose in such situations is not always to take us out of what is
threatening to hurt or destroy us, but is sometimes rather to take us
through it. Our ultimate victory comes not from escaping evil but from
being given the ability to endure and bear it, the way that Jesus bore it
on the cross, so that the death that was its ultimate destructive onslaught
upon Him became the way to His own Easter victory and to the world's
salvation.
When God's own self-giving love gets into the midst of a situation
dominated by sin, suffering, and death, the way it did with Jesus on the
cross, it acts creatively and transformingly on that situation. What is
in itself totally destructive can become, by Christ's presence in it, salvific
and redemptive. Christ does not rise on Easter day in spite of His
sufferings and death, but rather because of them. The risen Jesus is still
the wounded Jesus; in His resurrection He does not leave His passion
behind Him; He bears the marks of it still in His body and displays them
as the trophies of His triumph. His suffering is the very stuff out of
which He fashions His glory.
The New Testament makes it clear that the way of the Master is
the way of the disciple. He calls us to take up our cross and follow Him.
That means that we have no guarantee of immunity either from the
kind of suffering that is a direct consequence of our discipleship or from
the accidents, misfortunes, illnesses, and disabilities that afflict other
people and are as liable to afflict us as well. Paul was imprisoned in
Philippi as a direct result of his Christian witness there (Acts 16:23),
but equally the ship on which he sailed for Rome was not spared the
storm and the shipwreck that were the normal risk of all Mediterranean
seafarers at that time of year (Acts 27). He was rescued from neither
persecution nor misfortune, but was brought through both to fresh
opportunities for the gospel.
So for Christians today there come times when Jesus calls us to
follow Him in the way of the cross, where the delivering signs and
wonders do not happen, where the trouble from which we pray to be
freed is neither removed nor alleviated, but becomes the material out
of which God fashions us into richer and deeper realms of renewal,
which, looking back, we see could not have been reached in any other
way.
Very relevant to all this is the saying of C. S. Lewis, "Miracles are
for beginners." I take this to mean that, when we are in the early stages
of the Christian life, where faith most needs to be confirmed and built
up, God will often show himself to be the rescuer, who gets us out of
our trouble. When, however, we become stronger and more mature,
He will often honor us, not by giving us the deliverances we ask, but
by calling us to follow Jesus through the dark, even deadly places where
no relief comes, to the new life that lies on the other side of whatever
Jordan of suffering and affliction we have to cross. And, of course, none
of us will in the end escape the ultimate Jordan of death, which is the
only access to the final glory that awaits us.
We need not take too literally the time-scale implied by the Lewis
dictum. It is not only at the start of the Christian life that faith and
confidence need to be built up, and God's wonderful rescuing deliver-
ances can come at any time and in any situation, as in His wisdom and
freedom He may choose. Nevertheless, Christian growth toward ma-
turity comes less from seeing miracles than from being taken through
suffering and learning to trust God to work out His good purposes in
and through what we have to endure. If we can see Him at work only
when we are rescued from evil, and cannot trust Him when the signs
cease and the wonders do not happen we shall be in danger of remaining
permanently in the Christian nursery instead of learning, as Paul put it
to Timothy, "[to] endure hardship ... like a good soldier of Christ Jesus"
(2 Timothy 2:3).
The New Testament paradigm for all this is undoubtedly the way
Paul understands what he calls his thorn in the flesh in 2 Corinthians
12:7-9. Much ink has been spilled in trying to identify what exactly he
was talking about, and commentators have suggested everything from
epileptic fits and eye trouble to the harrying of persecuting Jews. That
debate is bound to be without conclusion since the relevant evidence
is almost entirely lacking.
Nevertheless, Paul does tell us quite clearly that, whatever the
precise nature of his trouble may have been, it was something that on
the face of it fulfilled no obvious useful purpose. It gave him continual
pain and played into the hands of Satan by at least partially disabling
him from doing what God had called him to do. That much can be
inferred from 12:7, "There was given me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger
of Satan to torment me."
Paul's response to this situation was to pray that he should be set
free from this disability, and to persist in this prayer when its request
was not immediately granted. "Three times I pleaded with the Lord to
take it away from me" (v. 8). The answer to that prayer, when at length
it came, was a very specific refusal of the deliverance he asked for. To
put it in current charismatic jargon, Paul was given a word of knowledge
to the effect that he was to live with his affliction and not expect to be
freed from it.
God was going to lead him by the way of the cross, by not rescuing
him from the trouble, but by using it to bring him into even closer
dependence upon himself. Paul had had sensational spiritual experi-
ences, which he hints at in the verses immediately before this passage,
and there was a danger that he might be carried away by them, so as to
depend on them rather than the God who gave them—always a temp-
tation for those who have had charismatic experiences, even of a much
lesser kind. In such circumstances he needed his affliction to drive him
back continually on his dependence on God. "But he said to me, 'My
grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness' "
(v. 9). A disabled apostle depending on God is far more usable than a
healthy apostle living out of his own spiritual capital.
It is as if God had said to him, "Your thorn in the flesh must remain,
for although Satan put it there, I can use it to make you keep relying on
me and so to outwit Satan. For when you rely on me in your wound-
edness, you are far more powerful in my service than if you were
brimming with physical health, psychological balance, and spiritual self-
sufficiency." The way that Paul goes on shows how well he has learned
that hard lesson: "Therefore 1 will boast all the more gladly about my
Weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for
Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in per-
secutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong" (vv. 9-10)
"My power is made perfect in weakness"; "When I am weak, then
I am strong." Those who understand what is happening to them in these
terms are those who have entered deeply into the mystery of the strange
power that God in Christ exercises from the apparent powerlessness
of^the cross. They know that when we assess these things in terms of
a theologia cmcis, weakness and power, suffering and triumph, defeat and
victory, rejection and acceptance, death and resurrection are not con'
ttadictory but complementary, impossible as that may seem from any
-other standpoint.
As the Church of England Doctrine Commission report We Believe
m the Holy Spirit puts it, "Jesus and his passion represent for us the
touchstone of the power of which we speak, its effects when poured
out, and its confrontation with other concepts of power abroad in the
world."3 In other words. God's power is understood in accordance with
what we have been calling the Paschal model, it is the power of the
cross, of the crucified and risen Lord.
That is why Paul can cope with God's refusal to remove his thorn
in the flesh. He has learned at the cross not just about a rescuing God
who takes people out of trouble but about a saving God who can use
their trouble for their remaking, just as He used the awful suffering of
Jesus for the remaking of the world. The Pentecostal model can offer
us a theology of healing and triumph, but it cannot provide the basis
for a theology of suffering and failure, which we need just as much. For
that we have to turn, with Paul in his own suffering, to the Paschal
model, with its center in the cross.
Renewal in the Spirit and Sharing the Cross
Far from advancing beyond the cross when we are renewed in the
Spirit, needing to return to it only when we sin and need pardon, the
Paschal model shows us that the more we are filled with the Spirit, the
more we shall share in both cross and resurrection, again and again.
The triumphalistic expectations of uninterrupted release and constant
victory which the more naive part of the charismatic constituency has
sometimes chenshed and even taught are contradicted by both Scripture
and experience alike.
For our New Testament example of this we need only remember
Stephen, who is introduced to us in Acts 6 as a man -full of faith and
of the Holy Spirit" (v. 5) and "full of God's grace and power (v. 8)-a
model charismatic indeed! Precisely because he was so full of the Spirit.
Stephen saw that the gospel of Christ could not be contained within
the bounds of Jewish exclusivism, but that through it God was moving
out in grace from Israel to the whole Gentile world. Such a message
roused against him a murderous Jewish opposition that contrived his
stoning. Just as it had contrived the crucifixion-But because
the Spirit who filled Stephen was the Spirit who had filled Jesus on the
cross he met his death in the same forgiving love to his enemies and
trust in God. so that the last words of the martyr echo Ac last words
of the master:-Lord. do not hold this sin against them (7:60); Lord
Tesus, receive my spirit" (7:59).
But as death and defeat were not the end of the story for Jesus,
neither were they for Stephen. Luke tells Stephen s story in a way that
brings out quite clearly how his tragedy was used to bnng about his
triumph both in heaven and on earth. We are told how in the midst of
his suffering he had a charismatic vision of the glory that awaited him
with God- "I see heaven open and the Son of Man standing at the right
hand of God" (Luke 7:56). Professor William Manson used to point
out to his Edinburgh students that this is the only place inthe New
Testament where the exalted Lord is said to stand at the Father s right
hand. In all other references he is said to szt, because sitting is the
attitude of regnant majesty. But when the martyr who has followed the
Lord all the way to the death comes, to receive him and to honor him
the Son of Man rises from His throne. Almost, "Stand up, stand up for
Stephen!" That is indeed triumph in heaven.
But there is tnumph for Stephen and all that he died for here on
earth as well. Luke tells us that -Meanwhile, the witnesses [to Stephen s
stoning] laid their clothes at the feet of a young man named Saul (7:58),
who was soon also due to meet the exalted Lord on the road to Damascas. There he would be asked why he was continuing to kick against
the pricks, why, in other words, he was resisting the growing conviction
that, in persecuting the Christians, he was persecuting their Lord. If we
ask what had begun to shake him in his old hostility and prepare him
for his coming conversion, the answer, at which Luke at least hints, is
that it was the way Stephen died.
Thus the death of Stephen was a powerful factor in initiating the
taking of the gospel to the Gentile world through Paul. The very thing
for which the martyr had died was beginning to happen in a way and
to an extent of which he could never have dared to dream. Stephen
moves from being filled with the Spirit to a sharing of the cross, and
through that sharing of the cross to triumph both with God in heaven
and with God's mission here on earth. That is the Paschal pattern of
Christian life in the Spirit.
That pattern prevails equally in the more restricted world of the
spiritual gifts in which modern charismatics are most interested. Mother
Basileia Schlink of the Evangelical Sisterhood of Mary used to say that
all the gifts of the Spirit are marked with the sign of the cross. To
exercise a ministry of healing involves suffering with those who suffer
and having to bear all the insoluble mysteries of why one is healed and
another is not. Furthermore, if we desire to prophesy, we had better
remember all the biblical evidence that the popularity rating and indeed
the life-expectancy of authentic prophets has never been high!
Conclusions
It is time to summarize our conclusions. The central thrust of the
argument has been that renewal in the Spirit urgently requires a theology
that will do justice to all that is involved in it—a map of the journey to
God's land of promise that has clearly marked on it both the power and
the love, the failure and the triumph, the weakness and the strength,
the suffering and the healing, the dying and the rising again. We have
tried to show that a theology that will more adequately fulfil all these
requirements will be one that has at its center not the experience of
Pentecost only, but the Paschal mystery of the death and resurrection
of Jesus, to which the Spirit who came to the Church at Pentecost bears
witness in all His works and ways.
Of course, no theology can ever be finally adequate to the uncon'
trollable Spirit, who, as John reminds us, blows, like the wind, wherever
He pleases (John 3:8); but in all His incalculable freedom He remains
the Spirit whom the Father gave to us through the Son who was to die
and rise again. That is why the Spirit can so often be seen to be working
within the rhythm of Christ's cross and resurrection.
Paul says all that I have been trying to say in Philippians 3:10, where
he delineates the shape of the only renewal in the Spirit that at the end
of the day matters: "I want to know Christ and the power of his
resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming
like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection
from the dead."
Find some of the answers here as u struggle thru!
Abstract from Tom Smail- The Cross and the Spirit: Toward a Theology of Renewal
Toward a Theology of Suffering
There is, however, another whole area in which the Paschal model
has much to offer. As well as opening up, as we have just been seeing,
a fresh approach to renewal and healing in their relationship to Christ's
cross, it also makes possible a new understanding of unrelieved suffering
and failure to heal. These are always a great problem for the Pentecostal
model, which is exposed to constant temptation to a glib triumphalism
that arouses in people expectations which it is only sometimes able to
fulfill, with the sad result that many people are left in deep guilt because
they did not have enough faith to be healed, or else in disillusionment
because the promises so confidently made to them have not been kept.
When we expose this whole dark area to the light that comes from
the cross and resurrection of Jesus, we can begin to see that God's
purpose in such situations is not always to take us out of what is
threatening to hurt or destroy us, but is sometimes rather to take us
through it. Our ultimate victory comes not from escaping evil but from
being given the ability to endure and bear it, the way that Jesus bore it
on the cross, so that the death that was its ultimate destructive onslaught
upon Him became the way to His own Easter victory and to the world's
salvation.
When God's own self-giving love gets into the midst of a situation
dominated by sin, suffering, and death, the way it did with Jesus on the
cross, it acts creatively and transformingly on that situation. What is
in itself totally destructive can become, by Christ's presence in it, salvific
and redemptive. Christ does not rise on Easter day in spite of His
sufferings and death, but rather because of them. The risen Jesus is still
the wounded Jesus; in His resurrection He does not leave His passion
behind Him; He bears the marks of it still in His body and displays them
as the trophies of His triumph. His suffering is the very stuff out of
which He fashions His glory.
The New Testament makes it clear that the way of the Master is
the way of the disciple. He calls us to take up our cross and follow Him.
That means that we have no guarantee of immunity either from the
kind of suffering that is a direct consequence of our discipleship or from
the accidents, misfortunes, illnesses, and disabilities that afflict other
people and are as liable to afflict us as well. Paul was imprisoned in
Philippi as a direct result of his Christian witness there (Acts 16:23),
but equally the ship on which he sailed for Rome was not spared the
storm and the shipwreck that were the normal risk of all Mediterranean
seafarers at that time of year (Acts 27). He was rescued from neither a fresh approach to renewal and healing in their relationship to Christ's cross, it also makes possible a new understanding of unrelieved suffering and failure to heal. These are always a great problem for the Pentecostal model, which is exposed to constant temptation to a glib triumphalism that arouses in people expectations which it is only sometimes able to fulfill, with the sad result that many people are left in deep guilt because
they did not have enough faith to be healed, or else in disillusionment
because the promises so confidently made to them have not been kept.
When we expose this whole dark area to the light that comes from
the cross and resurrection of Jesus, we can begin to see that God's
purpose in such situations is not always to take us out of what is
threatening to hurt or destroy us, but is sometimes rather to take us
through it. Our ultimate victory comes not from escaping evil but from
being given the ability to endure and bear it, the way that Jesus bore it
on the cross, so that the death that was its ultimate destructive onslaught
upon Him became the way to His own Easter victory and to the world's
salvation.
When God's own self-giving love gets into the midst of a situation
dominated by sin, suffering, and death, the way it did with Jesus on the
cross, it acts creatively and transformingly on that situation. What is
in itself totally destructive can become, by Christ's presence in it, salvific
and redemptive. Christ does not rise on Easter day in spite of His
sufferings and death, but rather because of them. The risen Jesus is still
the wounded Jesus; in His resurrection He does not leave His passion
behind Him; He bears the marks of it still in His body and displays them
as the trophies of His triumph. His suffering is the very stuff out of
which He fashions His glory.
The New Testament makes it clear that the way of the Master is
the way of the disciple. He calls us to take up our cross and follow Him.
That means that we have no guarantee of immunity either from the
kind of suffering that is a direct consequence of our discipleship or from
the accidents, misfortunes, illnesses, and disabilities that afflict other
people and are as liable to afflict us as well. Paul was imprisoned in
Philippi as a direct result of his Christian witness there (Acts 16:23),
but equally the ship on which he sailed for Rome was not spared the
storm and the shipwreck that were the normal risk of all Mediterranean
seafarers at that time of year (Acts 27). He was rescued from neither
persecution nor misfortune, but was brought through both to fresh
opportunities for the gospel.
So for Christians today there come times when Jesus calls us to
follow Him in the way of the cross, where the delivering signs and
wonders do not happen, where the trouble from which we pray to be
freed is neither removed nor alleviated, but becomes the material out
of which God fashions us into richer and deeper realms of renewal,
which, looking back, we see could not have been reached in any other
way.
Very relevant to all this is the saying of C. S. Lewis, "Miracles are
for beginners." I take this to mean that, when we are in the early stages
of the Christian life, where faith most needs to be confirmed and built
up, God will often show himself to be the rescuer, who gets us out of
our trouble. When, however, we become stronger and more mature,
He will often honor us, not by giving us the deliverances we ask, but
by calling us to follow Jesus through the dark, even deadly places where
no relief comes, to the new life that lies on the other side of whatever
Jordan of suffering and affliction we have to cross. And, of course, none
of us will in the end escape the ultimate Jordan of death, which is the
only access to the final glory that awaits us.
We need not take too literally the time-scale implied by the Lewis
dictum. It is not only at the start of the Christian life that faith and
confidence need to be built up, and God's wonderful rescuing deliver-
ances can come at any time and in any situation, as in His wisdom and
freedom He may choose. Nevertheless, Christian growth toward ma-
turity comes less from seeing miracles than from being taken through
suffering and learning to trust God to work out His good purposes in
and through what we have to endure. If we can see Him at work only
when we are rescued from evil, and cannot trust Him when the signs
cease and the wonders do not happen we shall be in danger of remaining
permanently in the Christian nursery instead of learning, as Paul put it
to Timothy, "[to] endure hardship ... like a good soldier of Christ Jesus"
(2 Timothy 2:3).
The New Testament paradigm for all this is undoubtedly the way
Paul understands what he calls his thorn in the flesh in 2 Corinthians
12:7-9. Much ink has been spilled in trying to identify what exactly he
was talking about, and commentators have suggested everything from
epileptic fits and eye trouble to the harrying of persecuting Jews. That
debate is bound to be without conclusion since the relevant evidence
is almost entirely lacking.
Nevertheless, Paul does tell us quite clearly that, whatever the
precise nature of his trouble may have been, it was something that on
the face of it fulfilled no obvious useful purpose. It gave him continual
pain and played into the hands of Satan by at least partially disabling
him from doing what God had called him to do. That much can be
inferred from 12:7, "There was given me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger
of Satan to torment me."
Paul's response to this situation was to pray that he should be set
free from this disability, and to persist in this prayer when its request
was not immediately granted. "Three times I pleaded with the Lord to
take it away from me" (v. 8). The answer to that prayer, when at length
it came, was a very specific refusal of the deliverance he asked for. To
put it in current charismatic jargon, Paul was given a word of knowledge
to the effect that he was to live with his affliction and not expect to be
freed from it.
God was going to lead him by the way of the cross, by not rescuing
him from the trouble, but by using it to bring him into even closer
dependence upon himself. Paul had had sensational spiritual experi-
ences, which he hints at in the verses immediately before this passage,
and there was a danger that he might be carried away by them, so as to
depend on them rather than the God who gave them—always a temp-
tation for those who have had charismatic experiences, even of a much
lesser kind. In such circumstances he needed his affliction to drive him
back continually on his dependence on God. "But he said to me, 'My
grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness' "
(v. 9). A disabled apostle depending on God is far more usable than a
healthy apostle living out of his own spiritual capital.
It is as if God had said to him, "Your thorn in the flesh must remain,
for although Satan put it there, I can use it to make you keep relying on
me and so to outwit Satan. For when you rely on me in your wound-
edness, you are far more powerful in my service than if you were
brimming with physical health, psychological balance, and spiritual self-
sufficiency." The way that Paul goes on shows how well he has learned
that hard lesson: "Therefore 1 will boast all the more gladly about my
Weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for
Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in per-
secutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong" (vv. 9-10)
"My power is made perfect in weakness"; "When I am weak, then
I am strong." Those who understand what is happening to them in these
terms are those who have entered deeply into the mystery of the strange
power that God in Christ exercises from the apparent powerlessness
of^the cross. They know that when we assess these things in terms of
a theologia cmcis, weakness and power, suffering and triumph, defeat and
victory, rejection and acceptance, death and resurrection are not con'
ttadictory but complementary, impossible as that may seem from any
-other standpoint.
As the Church of England Doctrine Commission report We Believe
m the Holy Spirit puts it, "Jesus and his passion represent for us the
touchstone of the power of which we speak, its effects when poured
out, and its confrontation with other concepts of power abroad in the
world."3 In other words. God's power is understood in accordance with
what we have been calling the Paschal model, it is the power of the
cross, of the crucified and risen Lord.
That is why Paul can cope with God's refusal to remove his thorn
in the flesh. He has learned at the cross not just about a rescuing God
who takes people out of trouble but about a saving God who can use
their trouble for their remaking, just as He used the awful suffering of
Jesus for the remaking of the world. The Pentecostal model can offer
us a theology of healing and triumph, but it cannot provide the basis
for a theology of suffering and failure, which we need just as much. For
that we have to turn, with Paul in his own suffering, to the Paschal
model, with its center in the cross.
Renewal in the Spirit and Sharing the Cross
Far from advancing beyond the cross when we are renewed in the
Spirit, needing to return to it only when we sin and need pardon, the
Paschal model shows us that the more we are filled with the Spirit, the
more we shall share in both cross and resurrection, again and again.
The triumphalistic expectations of uninterrupted release and constant
victory which the more naive part of the charismatic constituency has
sometimes chenshed and even taught are contradicted by both Scripture
and experience alike.
For our New Testament example of this we need only remember
Stephen, who is introduced to us in Acts 6 as a man -full of faith and
of the Holy Spirit" (v. 5) and "full of God's grace and power (v. 8)-a
model charismatic indeed! Precisely because he was so full of the Spirit.
Stephen saw that the gospel of Christ could not be contained within
the bounds of Jewish exclusivism, but that through it God was moving
out in grace from Israel to the whole Gentile world. Such a message
roused against him a murderous Jewish opposition that contrived his
stoning. Just as it had contrived the crucifixion-But because
the Spirit who filled Stephen was the Spirit who had filled Jesus on the
cross he met his death in the same forgiving love to his enemies and
trust in God. so that the last words of the martyr echo Ac last words
of the master:-Lord. do not hold this sin against them (7:60); Lord
Tesus, receive my spirit" (7:59).
But as death and defeat were not the end of the story for Jesus,
neither were they for Stephen. Luke tells Stephen s story in a way that
brings out quite clearly how his tragedy was used to bnng about his
triumph both in heaven and on earth. We are told how in the midst of
his suffering he had a charismatic vision of the glory that awaited him
with God- "I see heaven open and the Son of Man standing at the right
hand of God" (Luke 7:56). Professor William Manson used to point
out to his Edinburgh students that this is the only place inthe New
Testament where the exalted Lord is said to stand at the Father s right
hand. In all other references he is said to szt, because sitting is the
attitude of regnant majesty. But when the martyr who has followed the
Lord all the way to the death comes, to receive him and to honor him
the Son of Man rises from His throne. Almost, "Stand up, stand up for
Stephen!" That is indeed triumph in heaven.
But there is tnumph for Stephen and all that he died for here on
earth as well. Luke tells us that -Meanwhile, the witnesses [to Stephen s
stoning] laid their clothes at the feet of a young man named Saul (7:58),
who was soon also due to meet the exalted Lord on the road to Damascas. There he would be asked why he was continuing to kick against
the pricks, why, in other words, he was resisting the growing conviction
that, in persecuting the Christians, he was persecuting their Lord. If we
ask what had begun to shake him in his old hostility and prepare him
for his coming conversion, the answer, at which Luke at least hints, is
that it was the way Stephen died.
Thus the death of Stephen was a powerful factor in initiating the
taking of the gospel to the Gentile world through Paul. The very thing
for which the martyr had died was beginning to happen in a way and
to an extent of which he could never have dared to dream. Stephen
moves from being filled with the Spirit to a sharing of the cross, and
through that sharing of the cross to triumph both with God in heaven
and with God's mission here on earth. That is the Paschal pattern of
Christian life in the Spirit.
That pattern prevails equally in the more restricted world of the
spiritual gifts in which modern charismatics are most interested. Mother
Basileia Schlink of the Evangelical Sisterhood of Mary used to say that
all the gifts of the Spirit are marked with the sign of the cross. To
exercise a ministry of healing involves suffering with those who suffer
and having to bear all the insoluble mysteries of why one is healed and
another is not. Furthermore, if we desire to prophesy, we had better
remember all the biblical evidence that the popularity rating and indeed
the life-expectancy of authentic prophets has never been high!
Conclusions
It is time to summarize our conclusions. The central thrust of the
argument has been that renewal in the Spirit urgently requires a theology
that will do justice to all that is involved in it—a map of the journey to
God's land of promise that has clearly marked on it both the power and
the love, the failure and the triumph, the weakness and the strength,
the suffering and the healing, the dying and the rising again. We have
tried to show that a theology that will more adequately fulfil all these
requirements will be one that has at its center not the experience of
Pentecost only, but the Paschal mystery of the death and resurrection
of Jesus, to which the Spirit who came to the Church at Pentecost bears
witness in all His works and ways.
Of course, no theology can ever be finally adequate to the uncon'
trollable Spirit, who, as John reminds us, blows, like the wind, wherever
He pleases (John 3:8); but in all His incalculable freedom He remains
the Spirit whom the Father gave to us through the Son who was to die
and rise again. That is why the Spirit can so often be seen to be working
within the rhythm of Christ's cross and resurrection.
Paul says all that I have been trying to say in Philippians 3:10, where
he delineates the shape of the only renewal in the Spirit that at the end
of the day matters: "I want to know Christ and the power of his
resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming
like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection
from the dead."
Sunday, June 11, 2006
Having an equality!
Was reading 2 Corinthians 8-9 yesterday, and something caught my eye. In chap 8 to 9, Paul was talking to the Corinth church about giving and preparing their gifts. It was interesting, for me to see Paul-doing pastoral stuffs, but more than that, something in 2 Cor 8:13-14 caught my eye when I read it in the NLT version.
Ofcourse, I don't mean your giving should make life easy for others and hard for yourselves. I only mean there should be some equality. Right now you have plenty and can help those who are in need. Later, they will have plenty and can share with you when you need it. In this way, things will be equal.
Whoa! Living as a community of christians, our sharing with each other, will cause us to have equality! Sounds a little communistic/socialistic isn't it? But in the nature of the Father, all the way from Old testament of having the Year of Jubilee, tells us that God-desires equality and justice! So that the land has no poor. And if we practice that enough, there would be balance and there will not be so much starvation and famine in poor countries. (That's a bit of over-simplification ofcos, given that there are also issues of corrupted governments, laziness etc)
2Cor 9:6 along the lines of he who sows shall reap. Isn't the above true? If we all shared, then whatever we sowed, we also have enough from others! Just like the book of Acts where all shared their possessions willingly.
Paul himself said he learnt to abound and to abase. In my opinion, prosperity and success are not the ultimate goal of christianity. I'm still trying to figure out what is. But could it be to be more Christ-like?
Paul speaks in 2 Cor6:4-10 on the marks of the ministry:
4 But in all things we commend ourselves as ministers of God: in much patience, in tribulations, in needs, in distresses, 5 in stripes, in imprisonments, in tumults, in labors, in sleeplessness, in fastings; 6 by purity, by knowledge, by longsuffering, by kindness, by the Holy Spirit, by sincere love, 7 by the word of truth, by the power of God, by the armor of righteousness on the right hand and on the left, 8 by honor and dishonor, by evil report and good report; as deceivers, and yet true; 9 as unknown, and yet well known; as dying, and behold we live; as chastened, and yet not killed; 10 as sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; as poor, yet making many rich; as having nothing, and yet possessing all things.
Surely, a large part of what it means to be a Christian is missed out when we focus on success and prosperity. How about suffering, sleeplessness and persecution? Doesn't the body of Christ today in developed countries need to be challenged in terms of their comfortable lifestyle? When we sing songs about laying down our lives/Jesus being more impt than treasures of this earth, are these just nice songs to sing? Or do we mean it with all our hearts?
It is a wonderful thing to excel in our studies & work in our mkt place, and shinning for God-carrying His excellence, and testifying that, yes, God is a good God, and God is a God who blesses. But the mark of the minister is that-He can do with or without this, with money or without, with honour of without-that the chief aim may be that he may glorify Christ in his life.
What makes non-christians want to seek God? Non-christians more than anything are seeking for TRUTH. The diff kinds of packaging may lead them to truth. But I think more than anything, they are looking for something that is different from this world. Can it be love? Can it be sacrifice? Can it be those that touch their hearts? Seeing christians giving their all to each other, and genuinely loving each other, instead of building larger buildings and wearing nicer clothes and having a high standard of life.
Hey, u are so rich and prosperous, your God must be wonderful! I want to have that too!
Is christianity an exchange of worldy things, for other means of acheiving worldy things? Shd we persuade them to know our God through these means?
Ofcourse, I don't mean your giving should make life easy for others and hard for yourselves. I only mean there should be some equality. Right now you have plenty and can help those who are in need. Later, they will have plenty and can share with you when you need it. In this way, things will be equal.
Whoa! Living as a community of christians, our sharing with each other, will cause us to have equality! Sounds a little communistic/socialistic isn't it? But in the nature of the Father, all the way from Old testament of having the Year of Jubilee, tells us that God-desires equality and justice! So that the land has no poor. And if we practice that enough, there would be balance and there will not be so much starvation and famine in poor countries. (That's a bit of over-simplification ofcos, given that there are also issues of corrupted governments, laziness etc)
2Cor 9:6 along the lines of he who sows shall reap. Isn't the above true? If we all shared, then whatever we sowed, we also have enough from others! Just like the book of Acts where all shared their possessions willingly.
Paul himself said he learnt to abound and to abase. In my opinion, prosperity and success are not the ultimate goal of christianity. I'm still trying to figure out what is. But could it be to be more Christ-like?
Paul speaks in 2 Cor6:4-10 on the marks of the ministry:
4 But in all things we commend ourselves as ministers of God: in much patience, in tribulations, in needs, in distresses, 5 in stripes, in imprisonments, in tumults, in labors, in sleeplessness, in fastings; 6 by purity, by knowledge, by longsuffering, by kindness, by the Holy Spirit, by sincere love, 7 by the word of truth, by the power of God, by the armor of righteousness on the right hand and on the left, 8 by honor and dishonor, by evil report and good report; as deceivers, and yet true; 9 as unknown, and yet well known; as dying, and behold we live; as chastened, and yet not killed; 10 as sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; as poor, yet making many rich; as having nothing, and yet possessing all things.
Surely, a large part of what it means to be a Christian is missed out when we focus on success and prosperity. How about suffering, sleeplessness and persecution? Doesn't the body of Christ today in developed countries need to be challenged in terms of their comfortable lifestyle? When we sing songs about laying down our lives/Jesus being more impt than treasures of this earth, are these just nice songs to sing? Or do we mean it with all our hearts?
It is a wonderful thing to excel in our studies & work in our mkt place, and shinning for God-carrying His excellence, and testifying that, yes, God is a good God, and God is a God who blesses. But the mark of the minister is that-He can do with or without this, with money or without, with honour of without-that the chief aim may be that he may glorify Christ in his life.
What makes non-christians want to seek God? Non-christians more than anything are seeking for TRUTH. The diff kinds of packaging may lead them to truth. But I think more than anything, they are looking for something that is different from this world. Can it be love? Can it be sacrifice? Can it be those that touch their hearts? Seeing christians giving their all to each other, and genuinely loving each other, instead of building larger buildings and wearing nicer clothes and having a high standard of life.
Hey, u are so rich and prosperous, your God must be wonderful! I want to have that too!
Is christianity an exchange of worldy things, for other means of acheiving worldy things? Shd we persuade them to know our God through these means?
Sunday, June 04, 2006
Relevance
I found the youth conference message yesterday pretty enlightening. Pastor explained to us why we must be relevant to society. And its really true and impt. And I understand better his vision for the church to be in the culture of the world, and to be an influence in the arts, media, govt, business etc.
I've always believed in that as well, being a mktplace christian, impacting the place u are in, being the salt and light, carry His glory, shine for Him. And I always pray that I might be a light that shines in my company, that when ple see me, they see God in me.
Well there are 2 grps of ple reading this blog, the first grp are my CHC frens (CGLs, ex-mbrs etc), second grp are some christians who have gone thru a similar transition as me wrt their point of view about church. I try and cater for both grps in a sense, but then realise that I shd be pleasing God and not men, and I shd really write what I think is the truth.
I agree about being relevant and contemporary to relate to the world. The opposite of that is retreating and being reclusive. There are so many churches like the latter! But my question is, what is the definition of being relevant? I can be relevant in so many ways. To the poor and hurting, I minister to them by my love and showing them that I care. To the person in the third world, I be relevant to him by going there wearing my simplest of clothes to relate to him. To the aunty in the pantry, I talk to her abt her children and movies in her era. That is BEING RELEVANT! Can u imagine me wearing my makeup, mini skirt and high heels to a developing country and telling them, God loves you! That will be so irrelevant!
Being relevant does not mean everyone fits into a mould of dyed and gelled hair, mini skirts, ed- hardy t shirts, makeup etc. In fact that freaks a group of ple in society out. We are NOT being relevant to the chunk of ple who are not fashionable, maybe nerdy, or even casual in their dressing. How abt someone who just wants to seek God and wear his bermudas to church? Being fashionable is unlikely to be relevant to him. We be relevant by relating to ple and being real, being ourselves and yet caring for others.
Granted, this is a youth conference but there is a large chunk of the church I believe, like me, probably who don't feel that being trendy and fashionable is being relevant to me. Neither is the hip hop dance, or the winning eleven game, or the pop idol sessions.
And my question is, are we only reaching out to the hip and trendy? Are we dressed in a way that makes pop stars come to church and feel comfortable? Is the church mainly relevant to cater for ple like Miss Taiwan? Or is it a church that is relevant to all? And why are ple in "influence"-leaders in govt, business, media being exalted over everyday ple like you and me? Though I am not a leader in my industry, yet I impact my world by being me! Daniel-impacted the world he lived in, and the story of daniel speaks to us that God can use anybody and everybody! Looks and wisdom are a special endowment that God has given to him. In the new testament, God says blessed are the meek/poor in spirit etc, and God uses the weak (according to the world) to shame the strong. Hence God is God who uses ALL ple, as long as we surrender our lives to Him, and that is where He empowers us to be like a Daniel!
In my heart of hearts though, I am somewhat at peace, cos hearing where pastor was coming from, I understand better the reasons for being contemporary. At his heart is reaching out and being relevant to ple, esp youths. And the church has done a great job in relating to the youths. So I dare not be bold enough to say that I know it better than the leadership.
MrForest told me that I must ask myself the correct questions. What are the practices that are being done that are not acceptable to me? And can I see myself there in the long run? The answer is a big clear fat no. Though I have kept myself open for the past few months, and everyday I ask God this question. How can a church be walking in error when u are blessing it so much? Am I the one in error? Am I being religious? Am I missing out on smthing? But the underlying core emotion beneath me just fails to relate to the sermons almost every week as well as the practices. They don't encourage me to know God more. The God that I know, somewhat differs from what is being preached at the pulpit.
For a long long while, I was angry with myself. Why can't I be normal? Have I hardened my heart and backslidden? Sometimes doubt, anger and bitterness comes to my mind when I worship. But for the past two days, during ministry, I experienced such a warm touch from the Holy Spirit, and I felt this deep sense of peace. That He was with me.
U see..the only thing that I can reconcile is that God works in His plans in so many wonderous ways. This church may not be the place where I fit in right now in my spiritual walk. But it has indeed blessed me so much in the past and helped me to overcome my low self esteem, challenged me to live a godly life etc. Perhaps there is a season in everyone's lives for different things. Sometimes I really envy those ple who can sit at the service and agree with all the things that are being said. I remember not long back...1 or 2 years ago, I also felt that way. I looked forward to service every single week for a fresh touch from God and for Him to speak to me in a new way. And He always did. Having exposed myself to other authors however, 2 main ones that influenced my thinking- John Piper and Ron Sider have changed my perspective.
In a way, it is a mindset thing. But I cannot change my mindset back to the start. The best that I can settle for, and leaves me well at peace is that I know that God is working in this lovely church. The place that has impacted my christian life so much. And at the heart of the leadership is a love for the lost. That makes me glad to know.
I've always believed in that as well, being a mktplace christian, impacting the place u are in, being the salt and light, carry His glory, shine for Him. And I always pray that I might be a light that shines in my company, that when ple see me, they see God in me.
Well there are 2 grps of ple reading this blog, the first grp are my CHC frens (CGLs, ex-mbrs etc), second grp are some christians who have gone thru a similar transition as me wrt their point of view about church. I try and cater for both grps in a sense, but then realise that I shd be pleasing God and not men, and I shd really write what I think is the truth.
I agree about being relevant and contemporary to relate to the world. The opposite of that is retreating and being reclusive. There are so many churches like the latter! But my question is, what is the definition of being relevant? I can be relevant in so many ways. To the poor and hurting, I minister to them by my love and showing them that I care. To the person in the third world, I be relevant to him by going there wearing my simplest of clothes to relate to him. To the aunty in the pantry, I talk to her abt her children and movies in her era. That is BEING RELEVANT! Can u imagine me wearing my makeup, mini skirt and high heels to a developing country and telling them, God loves you! That will be so irrelevant!
Being relevant does not mean everyone fits into a mould of dyed and gelled hair, mini skirts, ed- hardy t shirts, makeup etc. In fact that freaks a group of ple in society out. We are NOT being relevant to the chunk of ple who are not fashionable, maybe nerdy, or even casual in their dressing. How abt someone who just wants to seek God and wear his bermudas to church? Being fashionable is unlikely to be relevant to him. We be relevant by relating to ple and being real, being ourselves and yet caring for others.
Granted, this is a youth conference but there is a large chunk of the church I believe, like me, probably who don't feel that being trendy and fashionable is being relevant to me. Neither is the hip hop dance, or the winning eleven game, or the pop idol sessions.
And my question is, are we only reaching out to the hip and trendy? Are we dressed in a way that makes pop stars come to church and feel comfortable? Is the church mainly relevant to cater for ple like Miss Taiwan? Or is it a church that is relevant to all? And why are ple in "influence"-leaders in govt, business, media being exalted over everyday ple like you and me? Though I am not a leader in my industry, yet I impact my world by being me! Daniel-impacted the world he lived in, and the story of daniel speaks to us that God can use anybody and everybody! Looks and wisdom are a special endowment that God has given to him. In the new testament, God says blessed are the meek/poor in spirit etc, and God uses the weak (according to the world) to shame the strong. Hence God is God who uses ALL ple, as long as we surrender our lives to Him, and that is where He empowers us to be like a Daniel!
In my heart of hearts though, I am somewhat at peace, cos hearing where pastor was coming from, I understand better the reasons for being contemporary. At his heart is reaching out and being relevant to ple, esp youths. And the church has done a great job in relating to the youths. So I dare not be bold enough to say that I know it better than the leadership.
MrForest told me that I must ask myself the correct questions. What are the practices that are being done that are not acceptable to me? And can I see myself there in the long run? The answer is a big clear fat no. Though I have kept myself open for the past few months, and everyday I ask God this question. How can a church be walking in error when u are blessing it so much? Am I the one in error? Am I being religious? Am I missing out on smthing? But the underlying core emotion beneath me just fails to relate to the sermons almost every week as well as the practices. They don't encourage me to know God more. The God that I know, somewhat differs from what is being preached at the pulpit.
For a long long while, I was angry with myself. Why can't I be normal? Have I hardened my heart and backslidden? Sometimes doubt, anger and bitterness comes to my mind when I worship. But for the past two days, during ministry, I experienced such a warm touch from the Holy Spirit, and I felt this deep sense of peace. That He was with me.
U see..the only thing that I can reconcile is that God works in His plans in so many wonderous ways. This church may not be the place where I fit in right now in my spiritual walk. But it has indeed blessed me so much in the past and helped me to overcome my low self esteem, challenged me to live a godly life etc. Perhaps there is a season in everyone's lives for different things. Sometimes I really envy those ple who can sit at the service and agree with all the things that are being said. I remember not long back...1 or 2 years ago, I also felt that way. I looked forward to service every single week for a fresh touch from God and for Him to speak to me in a new way. And He always did. Having exposed myself to other authors however, 2 main ones that influenced my thinking- John Piper and Ron Sider have changed my perspective.
In a way, it is a mindset thing. But I cannot change my mindset back to the start. The best that I can settle for, and leaves me well at peace is that I know that God is working in this lovely church. The place that has impacted my christian life so much. And at the heart of the leadership is a love for the lost. That makes me glad to know.
Saturday, June 03, 2006
Who shall I share this with?
Dear God,
And whomever that the Lord shall choose and use to speak to me. I had a wonderful emerge conference just now, at the end of it, I felt so touched by Your presence, and I think u wanted to encourage me that u understood my pain, and I need not fight no more the battles that I try to fight alone. For it is with acceptance of our own brokenness and weakness, that You-God can come and move in our lives.
As I looked at Pastor Kong ministering to the people, and also speaking a word to Pastor Abraham, I was so touched, I saw You working through the lives of the ple. I saw Your people, throughout the expo, 7000 of us, lifting up their hands to worship You. Everyone reaching out to You. Yr Holy Spirit touching their hearts, imparting dreams and visions to those young people. I really thank You, God for the ministry of Pastor and his team. Even as I look at the CG leaders I used to serve with, I know that everyone of us gave of our time, money and talents to serve You. Whether it is to skip meals or sleep etc..I know that all of us wanted to lay down our lives to serve You. And I heard Pastor Audrey share on the stage the testimony of her as a youth, leading 7 cgs while she was in VJC. That's so not easy and required dedication and devotion to You.
I also see churches that have existed for a long time. Lest I judge...but yet I see that there is really a lacking of fresh touch and revelation of You. I know that God, u have used Pastor Kong to start a new church doing a new thing, reaching out to youths in contemporary ways. A vision, U have placed in his heart for the mktplace, to use our talents, to raise up ple to be the salt and light in the mkt place. Being relevant & contemporary, that's lacking in so many churches these days. He is a bold man who is not afraid of criticisms, but following the vision You have commanded him to do.
How can I not know these things since I've been in this church for the past 8 years?
But each time I see someone wearing an Ed Hardy shirt, something stirs up within me. A few hundred dollars for a shirt? Should I judge ple for wearing those shirts? Maybe he didn't even buy it? Maybe someone gave it to him?
Everytime I think of the next church building we are going to build that costs a few hundred million, something stirs again. Can we use the money for better use? When I see glossy pamplets that would have cost much to print or the Xando coffee in the Emerge bag...I wonder, do we really need this?
Do we need makeup competitions or arm wrestling competitions?
Am I getting too critical? Legalistic? Religious?
It doesn't settle well within me...when things start getting commercialised. And I felt uncomfortable today cos Junyang, Kelly and Taufiq were invited to church to sing. They are non-christians. And that took up 1 hr? Youths waving their hands up and down for their "idol". If we went to church to hear different messages from the world, why is it that when I go to church, some of them sound so similar to motivational speeches?
God, who can I speak to? Who can I ask? How I wish for a spiritual authority over my life. Someone who is balanced, who is godly and has experienced how I feel.
Or is it that You have given different different ministries? Some to reach out to the cities-mkt place, some to the poor countries? CHC also does missions in indonesia, northeast asia etc. But everytime, I think of my life with You, I have this strong sense that it is to minister to people who are hurting, who need a lot of time/patience/love, ple who are outcasts, misunderstood, lonely. These God, are those U have impressed upon my heart to reach out to. And then to me, CHC doesn't seem like a church that really speaks to this group. CHC does teach to love and accept ple, to love others as Christ loved us. But the thing is, with the emphasis on being successful in our areas in the mktplace, looking good, being trendy. The emerge competitions of parade of schools (where the youths dance), arm wrestling, singing, sports etc., does it mean that those who don't excel in either of this will feel left out? Does it also mean an emphasis on the outward rather than the empowering from You that goes beyond our natural abilities to sing/dance or look good. Do we need slimming coffee to make us look good? Or do You, look into our hearts? And these ple who are outcasts, more than anything, want acceptance and need the message of unconditional acceptance. Not a list of must dos and nots, of how to become more spiritual etc. Those are impt, but it is also impt that they are placed in an environment of with assurance of Your values, that You don't judge according to outwardly success but look inward.
Sometimes I see among the youths, and I worry...I worry that they grow up to be christians who care more abt the outwardly than abt the inwardly. Then again, Pastor always emphasizes in his sermons that we need to pray to You, and not depend on methods or our own talents to make things work. But, does the emphasis on looking good/smart, being successful mean also that the part on being spiritual is diluted? I really don't know. I see that CHC has raised up so many christians who lay down their lives for You, God. But I've also seen youths who jump up and down during praise, and try every week to "reach out" to their friends, really seem to be following everything that Pastor preaches or their CGL teaches them to do, but don't really know You. Thats not something I can judge..whether someone knows You or not. They may have simple faith in You. They may be a group of contemporary youths who will otherwise be lost in eternity. They may need time and discipleship to truly know You.
These are my worries God. And I am afraid...to see youths wearing/aiming to buy Ed Hardy shirts, when some of them may hardly come from rich families. I am afraid sometimes to see ple with coloured hair that's gelled up in the latest fashion. Girls in their mini shirts and halter necks. Sure...those are just a matter of lifestyle. But are they good? I really don't know.
What is good and right in Your eyes, Lord? I really don't know anymore. U do use imperfect men ofcos. You do...You do speak to Your servants. Sometimes Your methods may seem strange. It may seem difficult to understand. What should I do God? I think essentially tonight You were telling me not to focus so much on wats right or wrong, cos those distract me, from the real call. The real call for my life to minister to the hurting, and so many lost in the company, my frens, ple in developing countries. So many of them God... And God, the thing is, I really want to belong to a church where I can identify with the vision, to grow with the church and be planted there. I think that right now, I am going thru a period of wilderness, where I need to seek You, be broken, be humble, and grow closer to You through Your words & affirmation. God...even if the whole world forsakes me, You will not forsake me. I really can't understand what I am going through right now. I pray You give me the grace God and faith to trust You even when I don't understand. In Jesus Name I pray, Amen!
And whomever that the Lord shall choose and use to speak to me. I had a wonderful emerge conference just now, at the end of it, I felt so touched by Your presence, and I think u wanted to encourage me that u understood my pain, and I need not fight no more the battles that I try to fight alone. For it is with acceptance of our own brokenness and weakness, that You-God can come and move in our lives.
As I looked at Pastor Kong ministering to the people, and also speaking a word to Pastor Abraham, I was so touched, I saw You working through the lives of the ple. I saw Your people, throughout the expo, 7000 of us, lifting up their hands to worship You. Everyone reaching out to You. Yr Holy Spirit touching their hearts, imparting dreams and visions to those young people. I really thank You, God for the ministry of Pastor and his team. Even as I look at the CG leaders I used to serve with, I know that everyone of us gave of our time, money and talents to serve You. Whether it is to skip meals or sleep etc..I know that all of us wanted to lay down our lives to serve You. And I heard Pastor Audrey share on the stage the testimony of her as a youth, leading 7 cgs while she was in VJC. That's so not easy and required dedication and devotion to You.
I also see churches that have existed for a long time. Lest I judge...but yet I see that there is really a lacking of fresh touch and revelation of You. I know that God, u have used Pastor Kong to start a new church doing a new thing, reaching out to youths in contemporary ways. A vision, U have placed in his heart for the mktplace, to use our talents, to raise up ple to be the salt and light in the mkt place. Being relevant & contemporary, that's lacking in so many churches these days. He is a bold man who is not afraid of criticisms, but following the vision You have commanded him to do.
How can I not know these things since I've been in this church for the past 8 years?
But each time I see someone wearing an Ed Hardy shirt, something stirs up within me. A few hundred dollars for a shirt? Should I judge ple for wearing those shirts? Maybe he didn't even buy it? Maybe someone gave it to him?
Everytime I think of the next church building we are going to build that costs a few hundred million, something stirs again. Can we use the money for better use? When I see glossy pamplets that would have cost much to print or the Xando coffee in the Emerge bag...I wonder, do we really need this?
Do we need makeup competitions or arm wrestling competitions?
Am I getting too critical? Legalistic? Religious?
It doesn't settle well within me...when things start getting commercialised. And I felt uncomfortable today cos Junyang, Kelly and Taufiq were invited to church to sing. They are non-christians. And that took up 1 hr? Youths waving their hands up and down for their "idol". If we went to church to hear different messages from the world, why is it that when I go to church, some of them sound so similar to motivational speeches?
God, who can I speak to? Who can I ask? How I wish for a spiritual authority over my life. Someone who is balanced, who is godly and has experienced how I feel.
Or is it that You have given different different ministries? Some to reach out to the cities-mkt place, some to the poor countries? CHC also does missions in indonesia, northeast asia etc. But everytime, I think of my life with You, I have this strong sense that it is to minister to people who are hurting, who need a lot of time/patience/love, ple who are outcasts, misunderstood, lonely. These God, are those U have impressed upon my heart to reach out to. And then to me, CHC doesn't seem like a church that really speaks to this group. CHC does teach to love and accept ple, to love others as Christ loved us. But the thing is, with the emphasis on being successful in our areas in the mktplace, looking good, being trendy. The emerge competitions of parade of schools (where the youths dance), arm wrestling, singing, sports etc., does it mean that those who don't excel in either of this will feel left out? Does it also mean an emphasis on the outward rather than the empowering from You that goes beyond our natural abilities to sing/dance or look good. Do we need slimming coffee to make us look good? Or do You, look into our hearts? And these ple who are outcasts, more than anything, want acceptance and need the message of unconditional acceptance. Not a list of must dos and nots, of how to become more spiritual etc. Those are impt, but it is also impt that they are placed in an environment of with assurance of Your values, that You don't judge according to outwardly success but look inward.
Sometimes I see among the youths, and I worry...I worry that they grow up to be christians who care more abt the outwardly than abt the inwardly. Then again, Pastor always emphasizes in his sermons that we need to pray to You, and not depend on methods or our own talents to make things work. But, does the emphasis on looking good/smart, being successful mean also that the part on being spiritual is diluted? I really don't know. I see that CHC has raised up so many christians who lay down their lives for You, God. But I've also seen youths who jump up and down during praise, and try every week to "reach out" to their friends, really seem to be following everything that Pastor preaches or their CGL teaches them to do, but don't really know You. Thats not something I can judge..whether someone knows You or not. They may have simple faith in You. They may be a group of contemporary youths who will otherwise be lost in eternity. They may need time and discipleship to truly know You.
These are my worries God. And I am afraid...to see youths wearing/aiming to buy Ed Hardy shirts, when some of them may hardly come from rich families. I am afraid sometimes to see ple with coloured hair that's gelled up in the latest fashion. Girls in their mini shirts and halter necks. Sure...those are just a matter of lifestyle. But are they good? I really don't know.
What is good and right in Your eyes, Lord? I really don't know anymore. U do use imperfect men ofcos. You do...You do speak to Your servants. Sometimes Your methods may seem strange. It may seem difficult to understand. What should I do God? I think essentially tonight You were telling me not to focus so much on wats right or wrong, cos those distract me, from the real call. The real call for my life to minister to the hurting, and so many lost in the company, my frens, ple in developing countries. So many of them God... And God, the thing is, I really want to belong to a church where I can identify with the vision, to grow with the church and be planted there. I think that right now, I am going thru a period of wilderness, where I need to seek You, be broken, be humble, and grow closer to You through Your words & affirmation. God...even if the whole world forsakes me, You will not forsake me. I really can't understand what I am going through right now. I pray You give me the grace God and faith to trust You even when I don't understand. In Jesus Name I pray, Amen!
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