Tranquility

It has been long since I heard Pastor Ed preach. And as usual, his sermons always cause a stir in my heart. The words strike once, then they reverbate on the inside of my heart.
God exposes our inner compulsions. This has been a season whereby my inner compulsions seem to rear its ugliest head. I do not know why, but the desires in my heart seem to surface more this season. The temptations are greater, and i have fallen a few times. Could it be that He is showing me what is really upon my heart? I need to guard my heart.
I ask myself what are my inner convictions and what is the inner compass that directs me. That which use to convict me sways, especially this season. Sometimes i feel like i have lost my direction. Distracted somewhat from my original convictions. The journey is a tough one, and I am tired of fighting me on the inside.
It is God who establishes our inner composure. Pastor ed described tranquility as a picture of waves and wind coming, but beneath all the, few feet under the waters, it is calm. Waves and storms are bound to come, but it is the inner life, the inner convictions, compass that establishes us, so that we can remain steadfast.
The opposing pic, he said, is that of a duck floating on a still pond, but it is paddling fast below. That, he says, is not tranquility.
What is my idea of tranquility? Even as life bombards me with various trials and disappointments. I have been anxious, and losing my temper more. I have been task oriented. I don't like this me. Maybe, i look calm on the outside, but i'm paddling furiously beneath.
There's an alternative way. It is a God centred life. It is a God captivated life. It is entering into the life that God invites us to. A life of joy, peace and hope. He invites because He cares. He welcomes with open arms, because we are His children. He loves us.
I rest me in this thought. I rest my fears in this thought. Amen.