Went for the Solemn Assembly today to pray for the city on the 1/1/09. God's work spoke to me. Pastor Ed reminded us "victory is mine, when the battle is the Lord's", so we are to Make a decisive stand on God given ground for a God given victory.
In order to prevent presumptuousness, we tend to swing to the other extreme, thinking that we are to live in survival mode. But wow, God has already won the battle, and He has given us ground. This was really the crux for me, I think there was some sort of a break through.
I had to repent of my small mindedness in God. Repent of being so distracted by so many things. My heart is so unrested. Yesterday at my first watchnight service with the RAYS, I prayed to God, but still felt unrested. It was only today, whereby He showed me this whole verse. It answered my ques on where's that sense of JOY.
Psalm 51
For the director of music. A psalm of David. When the prophet Nathan came to him after David had committed adultery with Bathsheba.
1 Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.
3 For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.
4 Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you are proved right when you speak
and justified when you judge.
5 Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
6 Surely you desire truth in the inner parts [a] ;
you teach [b] me wisdom in the inmost place.
7 Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
8 Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
9 Hide your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquity.
10 Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
11 Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
13 Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
and sinners will turn back to you.
14 Save me from bloodguilt, O God,
the God who saves me,
and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.
15 O Lord, open my lips,
and my mouth will declare your praise.
16 You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
17 The sacrifices of God are [c] a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart,
O God, you will not despise.
18 In your good pleasure make Zion prosper;
build up the walls of Jerusalem.
19 Then there will be righteous sacrifices,
whole burnt offerings to delight you;
then bulls will be offered on your altar.
Some say because Jesus has bore our sins past present and future on the cross, we do not need to seek repentance. But I think we repent before God not because Jesus's work is not complete. Rather, there remains a chasm between God and ourselves, when there is sin, that affects the intimacy between us. Even if I were to confess my righteousness before Him, something is not right on the inside. He desires truth on the inward parts.
I think that God is calling me to come back to this heart of worship. And I pray that He may be my all sufficiency and satisfy the longings in my heart.
In order to prevent presumptuousness, we tend to swing to the other extreme, thinking that we are to live in survival mode. But wow, God has already won the battle, and He has given us ground. This was really the crux for me, I think there was some sort of a break through.
I had to repent of my small mindedness in God. Repent of being so distracted by so many things. My heart is so unrested. Yesterday at my first watchnight service with the RAYS, I prayed to God, but still felt unrested. It was only today, whereby He showed me this whole verse. It answered my ques on where's that sense of JOY.
Psalm 51
For the director of music. A psalm of David. When the prophet Nathan came to him after David had committed adultery with Bathsheba.
1 Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.
3 For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.
4 Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you are proved right when you speak
and justified when you judge.
5 Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
6 Surely you desire truth in the inner parts [a] ;
you teach [b] me wisdom in the inmost place.
7 Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
8 Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
9 Hide your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquity.
10 Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
11 Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
13 Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
and sinners will turn back to you.
14 Save me from bloodguilt, O God,
the God who saves me,
and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.
15 O Lord, open my lips,
and my mouth will declare your praise.
16 You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
17 The sacrifices of God are [c] a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart,
O God, you will not despise.
18 In your good pleasure make Zion prosper;
build up the walls of Jerusalem.
19 Then there will be righteous sacrifices,
whole burnt offerings to delight you;
then bulls will be offered on your altar.
Some say because Jesus has bore our sins past present and future on the cross, we do not need to seek repentance. But I think we repent before God not because Jesus's work is not complete. Rather, there remains a chasm between God and ourselves, when there is sin, that affects the intimacy between us. Even if I were to confess my righteousness before Him, something is not right on the inside. He desires truth on the inward parts.
I think that God is calling me to come back to this heart of worship. And I pray that He may be my all sufficiency and satisfy the longings in my heart.
Took a walk at the beach today. There was a light drizzle, but it was soothing and peaceful sitting there as usual, committing the year to God.
A faint rainbow marked the horizons.
It was rainy, but there was light on top of me. :)
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