Was feeling so burdened and sad about the lost, poor and our apathy, and wrote an email to 2 leaders in CEFC. And yesterday night was writing a card to someone who I knew understood, couldn't help but end up in tears. And went to pray to God, crying, about the lostness of men, about how helpless I felt.
This morning, I was very touched during worship, and couldn't help tearing again while we sang about the river of God.
And the message was so good, it spoke to me.
Pastor Ed emphasized that the great commission was about disciple-making to the "nations". So why are we all in Singapore?- He asked. The only reason I am in Singapore, he said, was because God had called me to Singapore. He was at the jungles and rural area before and had told God he would have been happy to stay there all his life.
There I saw the heart of this man of God.
He talked about how transformation preceeds multiplication.
True indeed.
And the final portion on the Holy Spirit. Just been feeling so discouraged because of how loosely He is being used. But Pastor Ed brought it all back into perspective. We need the empowering of the Holy Spirit, we need to be filled by Him in order to fulfil the great commission.
How do we get filled- by desperation and yielding. How true.
Kept crying again during worship. From the depths of my heart cried out to God. For myself, for the suffering, for the lost, for how helpless I felt. Scenes in China at the mission trip- faces of those chinese youths so vivid. Scenes in CHC...tear stained faced, and hands lifted up to God- crying, use me God. Those moments of prayer in the past, of yielding...of desiring to use my life to serve Him.
Perhaps its time for me to start serving once again. By the empowering of the Spirit.
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