I went for the GoForth Conference on Fri and Sat, and I was very blessed..
There were quite a few paradigm shifts from the conference and I am thankful :)
I recalled again things about the marketplace ministry that excited me. And yes, I am praying hard about it. Especially impactful was Peter Tsukahira who said that it was not about vying for the top places in the mktplace, but it was seeing the needs of those at the bottom. It stirred something in me, and helped me to reconcile the disjoint between marketplace ministry/impactful businesses versus identifying with the weak and the poor. I recalled again my original intentions in University, in wanting to speak to businessmen abt God.
It has been a journey. It has not been a straight journey. Did I get derailed? Or did God already plan everything for me? I had to quit the high paying job and get into the ground to see God's goodness and faithfuless. It was a test of who my God is.
Feel like I failed the test of God over the past year. Being very tempted to compromise. In fact, I did compromise, because what He promised just didn't seem like it was coming. Again, He had to shield me and guard me, even though it was painful, like an operation that removed the splinter in my heart. Brought me back to the heart of God. His soothing love, His amazing grace that covered me when I was lost.
The greatest mission field, one of the speakers said, was the mission field of the heart. And Daddy says, it is gonna be painful, but I will surely not let you go.
Is that what I ultimately seek after? To be comfortable? And alternatively, is it to seek being uncomfortable? It is neither. It is the holding up of one's hands to the Lord, whether it is in the most comfortable of situations, or the most mundane ones, or the most stormy ones, to trust Him...
Robert Solomon said that obeying God in missions is like falling in LOVE... And we follow where God calls us to go. We obey Him because we are fearful? Or is it because we can trust in Him? Or is it because we just simply LOVE Him?
Thank you for bringing my heart back to You.
