I was so happy on Sunday night that something quite unheard of happened in the church. =P Pastor Ed talked about being filled in the Spirit. And we prayed for people to be filled in the Spirit. I felt the sweet embrace of God. But I also felt the "anointing" seems stronger in CHC, and the whole experience of worship still seems more intensed there. So was wondering if there was more...if the church should be going even deeper...and whether such worship should be a weekly affair thing during sunday service, rather than only during a special prayer meeting.
This provoked a lot of thoughts within. Pastor Ed shared that there is a difference betw Spirit giftedness and Spirit filled, that the gift of the Spirit must be cradled by the fruits of the Spirit. I have seen it going wrong all too often when our faith is shallow, and our boldness is presumptuous. What does it really mean to be Spirit filled? And how is it manifested when we are? Is it about being slained in the Spirit, feeling the warmth and crying? Or was it like Sunday night, just a sweet peace and an embrace that was felt? Part of me thinks there should be more anointing, more slaying, more supernatural etc. But that seems to be looking towards the gifts and the supernatural rather than towards God.
My friend who comes from a conservative background asked me what it feels like when someone is being filled with the Spirit. I realised what Pastor Ed meant when he said we are a bridge betw the charismatics and the conservatives. Because, maybe due to our different personalities and backgrounds, it is impossible to throw a conservative into a charismatic church and expect him to experience God in the same way. So while I think the worship is not charismatic enough, or that people should speak in tongues, or that the church should emphasise the Holy Spirit more, I realise that is due to my charismatic backgrd.
Distinctly, when I went up to pray for a deeper experience with God, I felt He said one thing- that the gift comes with a price. The price of the cross. The cross life.
Interestingly, I was listening to CHC's latest worship album, and I really liked this song:
God of my forever
God of my youth I remember
Your call on my life took me o’er
Your love has seen me through all my days
I stand here by Your grace
On this altar I’ve written my life
Tells of a story I have with You my Lord
I want the world to know
Chorus
God of my forever
And forever I’m with You
My life is saved with a price
Your sacrifice redeemed my soul
God of my forever
And forever I will sing
My greatest honor will always be
To serve my Lord and King
Verse 2
God of my all I’ve surrendered
My heart finds its rest in Your word
Praises will not be enough to show
How my love for You has grown
Nothing matters when You’re here with me
In the end just to hear You say “Well done”
Bowing before Your throne
Bridge
Forever and ever
Jesus You alone in glory reign
Forever and ever
With You I walk this narrow way
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And yeah, I think the song writers in CHC are really gifted with the anointing to write great lyrics and music. And these really help to draw people into worship.
But as I examined the lyrics further, some of these caught my attention:
"God of my all I’ve surrendered
My heart finds its rest in Your word"
I think nowadays, when I sing a song, other then this heartfelt emotional thing with God, I also consider what the lyrics really mean. And what does it mean to say I've surrendered...what it means my greatest love is God etc etc....
Because sometimes due to the emotional feel of the music, it is so easy to be singing along with great lyrics. But these words actually carry a lot of weight and meaning to it..
So in that sense, I really appreciate hymms too. Though the tune may be quite dull sometimes, it helps one to meditate on the lyrics.
And we may tend to be presumptuous in our singing...like Peter who told God, I will never deny You. Because he didn't understand what his promise to God really meant...and what the Cross life is really about.
