The Answer
Lyrics by Corrinne May Ying Foo
Music by Gustav Holst, ‘Jupiter’ from The Planets Suite
Copyright 2006, Corrinne May Ying Foo
I believe you are the answer to every tear I’ve cried
I believe that you are with me,
My rising and my light.
Give me strength when I am weary
Give me hope when I can’t see
Through the crosses I must carry
Lord, bind my heart to thee
That when all my days are over
and all my chores are done,
I may see your risen Glory
Forever where You are.
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I spent 8 years in a charismatic church. I learnt the power of God, asking by faith (and other things of cos).
In the past 2 years, I learnt the dealings of God on the inside when we go through suffering.
For not everyday is a ask-and-you-shall-receive kind of day. Some days in the past 2 years, I felt like I was speaking to emptiness, and darkness. Some days I cried tears of sorrows. But in all these, God is present. He is sovereign, and He is faithful.
When we come to see the faithfulness of God, even when we go through the abyss of darkness, we know that He is present. Its all about trusting in His character.
U must know that the above is not because we pray in faithlessness. But really, it is because of faith, that we can rest and trust, whatever the outcome that it works for the good of those who love Him.
Been reading Psalms, and it speaks a lot about God being our deliverer, that He is the one who will fight the enemies for us. But an impt criteria, it is to rest and trust in Him to act on our behalf.
For in every victory, there is a death. On the cross, Jesus died for us, and from there we receive victory. In our lives, we take up the cross and follow Him. "For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it." Matt 16. We die to our flesh, but not so that we will die forever, but so that we may find true life in Him.
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Thursday, February 07, 2008
Counter-Culture Jesus
I have been thinking about many things for the past few days. Some of my thoughts run unexpectedly, some triggered by others, some triggered by my inner struggles and fears.
This morning while waiting for my relatives to come, I watched Just Follow Law- a Jack Neo movie. I have not finished the whole movie, but the first 30 min of the movie at least caused a stir within me. This movie depicts the rules & regulations that bound the civil service, but other than that, it also reflects the day-to-day life struggles of a blue collared worker in Singapore. For things like buying a piano for her daughter, Gurmit Singh(blue collared worker) has to wait for his bonus to come. And even though he is unhappy in his job, he doesn't have much alternatives cos he is not very well educated, and has to support his young daughter.
Such realities of life in Singapore, which I never really experienced because my family is somewhat upper middle class.
Living in Singapore is getting expensive. And the mindset and culture of Singaporeans, I guess often is to be able to get a good education, a good job, and that sets you for a comfortable life. A cushy good job, so that maybe one day u can earn enough for that condominium, or that house u always wanted. Esp if I were the blue collared worker who strived so hard to get his bonus so that he could buy the piano for his daughter, why not aim for a higher standard of living. I see a glimpse of the struggles of daily living for the heartlander. And so I wrestle, as I thought about how I have (well, had) a cushy job, which could have landed me in that position of envy, of staying in a nice house, with a nice car, and comfortable living.
And so, before I went for visitation, I geared myself and prayed that God would guard my heart from the words that people may say to me. There were looks of surprises that I had quit my job. But somehow, it was not the people that created this stir in my heart. It was myself. Suddenly felt insecure that I was going on a different route from everyone.
And then I thought of Jesus and how He was counter culture, how He reached out to the prostitutes and the tax collectors- people in society whom others would not associate with. And then tonight as our car drove past Geylang, and I saw the streets filled with these women and foreign workers, my heart wretches with sadness. With sadness at how much the place needs God.
Had a good conversation with my uncle today, or rather he spoke most of the time. And he encouraged me in a way as he talked about missions and reaching out, and how if we could live out 40% of what the bible tells us to live, we are very good already. Because it is simply so tough to live out 100% of what the bible says. The bible is filled with radical stuff about giving up our all to follow Jesus, about loving our neighbours, about forgiving others. If we really did all that, this would be heaven on earth. Yet, I think we don't recognize this as a church, that we have failed in so many ways to fulfil the radical commandments of Jesus.
Somehow, God has placed within my heart such a love for the marginalized, I know it can only be His calling. And yet how greatly I struggle, just to cut down on my salary. I'm not even talking about going into foreign land or reducing my standard of living. Yes, I will still get to go home to my nice terrace house after work.
Oh Jesus...what would u do with this generation of people who struggle to give up their lives to follow after you? And how we are far from truly living out Your call for our lives?
One of the dearest things I've learnt after becoming a christian, is how loved I am. This makes me want to tell others how loved they are, and how precious they are to the Lord. I have gone through the journey, to know how one feels unworthy and condemned all the time. But I have received His healing and His love.
Indeed one of my other reflections during this season is of love & grace. The reason why we can't follow Jesus is because we don't know how much He loves us. Often we find that going to that ministry, or reaching out to that person is a hassle, cos we have not been radically touched by God's love on the inside. But once we know His everlasting and compassionate love, something changes in our hearts. And that is when one becomes radical for Christ.
Do not seek to be counter-culture, but seek Jesus, and He will teach you what to do. He will teach you how to love, how to live yr life, and how to feel in the way He feels about things.
"We need to be in that place. We're prisoners of love. Some people say, 'Oh, how noble. You're a missionary,', I'm just a prisoner of love. I don't have any choice. It is joy unspeakable and full of glory."
- Heidi Baker, Always Enough
"For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."
Eph3:14-21
This morning while waiting for my relatives to come, I watched Just Follow Law- a Jack Neo movie. I have not finished the whole movie, but the first 30 min of the movie at least caused a stir within me. This movie depicts the rules & regulations that bound the civil service, but other than that, it also reflects the day-to-day life struggles of a blue collared worker in Singapore. For things like buying a piano for her daughter, Gurmit Singh(blue collared worker) has to wait for his bonus to come. And even though he is unhappy in his job, he doesn't have much alternatives cos he is not very well educated, and has to support his young daughter.
Such realities of life in Singapore, which I never really experienced because my family is somewhat upper middle class.
Living in Singapore is getting expensive. And the mindset and culture of Singaporeans, I guess often is to be able to get a good education, a good job, and that sets you for a comfortable life. A cushy good job, so that maybe one day u can earn enough for that condominium, or that house u always wanted. Esp if I were the blue collared worker who strived so hard to get his bonus so that he could buy the piano for his daughter, why not aim for a higher standard of living. I see a glimpse of the struggles of daily living for the heartlander. And so I wrestle, as I thought about how I have (well, had) a cushy job, which could have landed me in that position of envy, of staying in a nice house, with a nice car, and comfortable living.
And so, before I went for visitation, I geared myself and prayed that God would guard my heart from the words that people may say to me. There were looks of surprises that I had quit my job. But somehow, it was not the people that created this stir in my heart. It was myself. Suddenly felt insecure that I was going on a different route from everyone.
And then I thought of Jesus and how He was counter culture, how He reached out to the prostitutes and the tax collectors- people in society whom others would not associate with. And then tonight as our car drove past Geylang, and I saw the streets filled with these women and foreign workers, my heart wretches with sadness. With sadness at how much the place needs God.
Had a good conversation with my uncle today, or rather he spoke most of the time. And he encouraged me in a way as he talked about missions and reaching out, and how if we could live out 40% of what the bible tells us to live, we are very good already. Because it is simply so tough to live out 100% of what the bible says. The bible is filled with radical stuff about giving up our all to follow Jesus, about loving our neighbours, about forgiving others. If we really did all that, this would be heaven on earth. Yet, I think we don't recognize this as a church, that we have failed in so many ways to fulfil the radical commandments of Jesus.
Somehow, God has placed within my heart such a love for the marginalized, I know it can only be His calling. And yet how greatly I struggle, just to cut down on my salary. I'm not even talking about going into foreign land or reducing my standard of living. Yes, I will still get to go home to my nice terrace house after work.
Oh Jesus...what would u do with this generation of people who struggle to give up their lives to follow after you? And how we are far from truly living out Your call for our lives?
One of the dearest things I've learnt after becoming a christian, is how loved I am. This makes me want to tell others how loved they are, and how precious they are to the Lord. I have gone through the journey, to know how one feels unworthy and condemned all the time. But I have received His healing and His love.
Indeed one of my other reflections during this season is of love & grace. The reason why we can't follow Jesus is because we don't know how much He loves us. Often we find that going to that ministry, or reaching out to that person is a hassle, cos we have not been radically touched by God's love on the inside. But once we know His everlasting and compassionate love, something changes in our hearts. And that is when one becomes radical for Christ.
Do not seek to be counter-culture, but seek Jesus, and He will teach you what to do. He will teach you how to love, how to live yr life, and how to feel in the way He feels about things.
"We need to be in that place. We're prisoners of love. Some people say, 'Oh, how noble. You're a missionary,', I'm just a prisoner of love. I don't have any choice. It is joy unspeakable and full of glory."
- Heidi Baker, Always Enough
"For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."
Eph3:14-21
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