Radical love

On sat and sunday night I went to conference with Heidi Baker, and my heart was deeply blessed by the testimonies and stories she shared about the poor and her ministry. One of the stories was about a Pastor A in Africa who was attacked and murdered by someone who was anti-christian. The church prayed for the pastor, and on the way to hospital, he rose from the dead. But his mouth was swollen from the beating. The police found the murderer and called pastor B who was with pastor A. Pastor B put the phone next to Pastor A, who said with his swollen mouth, pls forgive him (the murderer). The next day Pastor A's swollen mouth and body was totally healed, and he could go to church. There, he met the man who tried to murder him, at the church, who gave his life to Jesus. Since then, the man has become a pastor. :)

Another story speaks of Heidi reaching out to a man on the streets who cursed at her to 'Go to hell' for the 2 years that she tried to reach out to him. Nevertheless, she always brought food there and tried to chat with him because she loved him with the love of Christ. One day she was attacked by this other lady, and the man (patrick) saw it and wanted to call the police. But Heidi knew if he called the police, the lady would be jailed, so she stopped him. And eventually, Patrick covered her and brought her to safety. He started crying and said for 2 years, u have been sharing with me about Christ, now I understand the love of Christ demonstrated in you.

There were many stories Heidi shared as she talked about the Riches of the poor, from testimonies of ple rising from the dead, to miraculous salvations, to God's provision through multiplying of bread etc etc. But I was deeply blessed by the radical love that was demonstrated through these stories. In which they reached out to the prostitutes, the homeless, the abused (rape and violence), the hungry on the streets, the unwanted, and wasn't this really, God's incarnate love.

There were altar calls on two nights to kneel before the Lord and to surrender our lives to Him. I felt Jesus poured out His love for me, that it flowed freely through me. :) And Jesus told me that He was the lover of my soul that I need not seek it in another. My mouth was filled with praises and songs unto Him. I felt the deep compassion of Christ for the lost and the broken and I asked Him, how can I meet those needs. It was only through the free flowing love that He gave to us. And it was in the strengthening of the inner man through the revelation of God's love. (Eph 3:16) Suddenly I felt boldness.

I am not sure how my life may change after this. I did not respond to the call for full-time missionaries. I don't know if this is God's call for my life, I pray He will guide. In spite of my constant sharings about my heart for the poor & marginalized, I don't know if my heart is really that big. If it has space for so many people, and that when I say I give my life to Christ, whether I am really willing to love His people to the extend of sacrificing my life for them. I am scared what this call really means and need to continue to pray that what He has birthed in my heart will become clearer by the day. I hope that I may look beyond myself inwardly and instead look towards the source and His finished work. It is finished, and His love so unconditionally poured out on us.

Build up my faith

I'm just going to briefly write down what I've been learning. I've been "forced" to take the mrt instead of the bus now that I've moved. Its usually a 10 min walk to the mrt, and the mrt is crowded so i've to stand. For the past few days now, I've began reading on the bus. I've been reading Always Enough by Roland & Heidi Baker, which is an account of God's work through the couple amongst the poor in HK, London, and finally Africa( Mozambique). Wow, their faith is amazing! And the faith needed to do missionary work in the third world is great! I'm so humbled, as I know that I don't have that kind of mountain moving faith. But if I can pinpoint what the year(s) of preparation means- God is preparing & building up my faith. Come on, if I cannot have faith in little things here, like work and talking to bosses and praying for my cell group members, what makes me think I can have faith for God's providence in missions, or God's miraculous power for the poor and sick? So much miracles are going on in the book. Yet not only miracles, but also many obstacles- serious ones of being chased out of their building, and having to feed & provide for the lodgings of 300 children after they were chased out. And everyday children turn up to their door steps, some have been raped multiple times, whereas others have seen their parents being killed in the war/on the streets, children with no arms and legs cos they are victims of abuse, and many have bloated tummies and flies sticking to them. It can get so disheartening and emotionally draining. I know that God is preparing me and building up my emotional capacity to be able to reach out to the people He has placed in my heart. But not just my heart, I gotto guard it and renew my mind this year. Shall continue to make it a point to meditate on God's word, believe in His promises and build up my faith on the way to work every morning! :) Remind me Jesus...

Was listening to a Corrinne May song, and it was in the context of her mum praying for her. Yet I became aware that Jesus is interceeding on our behalf in the heavenly realms. Dear God, thank you for yr song, for yr love for me. U are watching me grow, but also walking alongside of me. Help me to remember and to have faith in You. My God is big.