It is not exactly a needs based thing that calls us there. What we want is obedience. Joyful obedience to live the life that He calls us to.
Teared a bit even as i write this.
With the same eyes that sees profanity, i see God's loving creation. The same mouth that utters prayer, utters complaints. The same ears that listens to His replies, takes in filth. And i like the profanity, complaints and filth of this world. I like being comfortable. My flesh finds pleasure in many things.
I feel unworthy.. Yet i feel v worthy in Christ. The greatest battle field n mission field.. My heart.. I fear... Is still not totally won for Christ.
As much as i ask God for a life partner who loves God with all his heart, and who has a real r.s. with Him, i often wonder if I myself fulfil such a criteria. As much as i ask God for openings to missions, and His leading, i wonder if my heart is pure and clean and secure in Him to be overseas. I know the stresses are even greater there.
And yet i know, the more i look inwardly, the more i fail.
It is faith. Faith to believe, the faith to ask Him boldly for things, the faith to respond and obey. The faith to rest when things don't seem how they shd be. The faith to wait.. To grow, and to be moulded.
And looking back each step, it makes sense.. See His fingerprints in my life, and i can say amen! Now i understand! :)
2 comments:
Thank God for your sharing this, sis.
Interestingly, I've also been feeling something similar here... after the Go4th conference some more!
'Cos I think I've been eagerly looking fwd to going to Ecuador to bless the street kids there... yet I am starting to feel a sense of, maybe am I really doing something of value? Like, why am I going so far to Ecuador when there's so many kids in surrounding countries who also need help?
I can only say I'm gg to Ecuador 'cos I felt the prompting from God to go there and help my friends who are church-planting there.
And maybe there's the sense of uncertainty too.
Personally, I'm not sure how I will feel when reaching out to the street kids. Sometimes the whole thing seems rather overwhelming... I mean, millions and millions of kids going hungry... but again then, like what you said, it's about faith. Precisely bcos the harvest is plentiful but the workers are few... we are commanded to ask the Lord of the harvest to send out workers into the harvest field.
Love what you said about "I feel unworthy, yet I feel very worthy in Christ." It's so eloquently simple yet beautifully true. :)
Jiayou dear sis! Your words here have been a great encouragement to me haha... let's cont to spur one another on to follow Jesus wherever He may call us to go!
halo bro... Tx for yr encouragement! Pray for God to lead u as well... Hey chk out his blog www.radionjounals.blogspot.com
tink it may stir smthing in u wrt streetkid min. :)
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